THE RESPONSIBILTY OF THE PREACHER’S WIFE TO HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN AND HER HOME.

APOSTOLIC SHEPHERDS’ CAMP

Michigan District 1981

 

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PREACHER’S WIFE TO HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN AND HER HOME.

 

HUSBAND;

Shares in his calling

A. Affects the way she lives, how and where.

B. How much money she will have.

grandmastarrC. What she thinks about a great deal of the time.

D. What she and her husband will talk of most frequently.

E. How she is looked on in the Community.

 

Attitude:

A. Supportive–Prov. 14:1 says, “Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish, plucketh it down with her hands.”

B Not Competitive

She works with her husband and not against him.

She does not try to appear more intelligent or competent than her husband.

C. She is interested in Saving Souls and every phase of her minister husband’s ministry.

 

Loyal

A. A loyal wife does not discuss her husband’s faults with others.

B. She does not contradict her husband in public. If the matter is of utmost importance, she should very courteously tell him or draw him aside.

C. She keeps her private life Private.

 

Romantic

A. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Live Joyfully with the wife whom thou Lovest all the days of the Life of thy vanity, which he has given thee under the sun, all the days of vanity, for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

B. Marriage should not be just a working partnership but should have Romance in it too.

C. Times of togetherness in things like lunches, where talk is of your private feelings and not church problems. Husband should be attentive to wife’s need in her household problems. Much Resentment and lack of romance stems from the Man’s lack of concern in the things that are of great importance to the

D. Wife should respond with tenderness and pleasure to compliments given by husband and she will be the recipient of many throughout the marriage.

E. Learn to compliment your husband on attributes you appreciate in him.

Don’t let little kindnesses go unnoticed.

F. Build him up sincerely.

G. Try to say the Right Thing at the Right Time.

Prov. 25:11 Says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

 

CHILDREN

 

Love

A. A Child should be Wanted.

B. A child is not born loving you. You teach him to love you by showing your love to him. He responds to your treatment.

C. A child must have physical expression of love. He needs to be held and kissed. An older child needs to feel your love expressed by an embrace.

D. Don’t try to make a little one grow up too fast by taking his bottle away too early or saying that he is a big boy or big girl now and doesn’t need it. Don’t let other people pressure you in matters pertaining to your child. Usually a child will throw the bottle away when he is through with it. When there is a new baby, a little child will want to play like he is a baby too. Don’t shame him but play along with him let him choose baby food even take a bottle. He will soon get tired of it and want to resume the stage of maturity he has reached.

 

Security

A. Mother and Dad’s relationship is the big factor in this. If Mother and Dad love each other their love reaches the child and he is not frightened of his place.

B. He feels the pleasure he is bringing them.

 

Discipline

A. Teach him to be honest by your honesty in example.

B. Teach him respect for Authority, Yours, the Preachers, the Law, the Teachers at Sunday School and Public or Church School.

C. Don’t undermine fathers’ authority. Differences should be reasoned out of children’s’ hearing.

D. Correction should be just that. Don’t take your frustrations out on your children and call that correction. They know the difference.

 

Time

A. One of the greatest gifts you can give a child is your time. You as mother cannot tend to church affairs and neglect your children. The Bible says in Prov. 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, BUT A CHILD LEFT TO HIMSELF BRINGETH HIS MOTHER TO SHAME.”

 

B.  You may not get to go every time you want to with  little ones but they should have first priority, Mothers presence in the home is vital. She cannot give them attention completely at all times, but the quantity of time is all-important. QUALITY does not mean sitting down visiting them then taking off.  Quality is teaching them important truths, which you must have, time to teach.  You cannot make up for being gone hours and days and leaving them with sitters by coming in and out with gifts and fun times.

 

C.  Listen to your child and give him privacy to ponder his thoughts. When he expresses himself you can guide his thinking.

 

Good Memories

 

A.  Set yourself to give your children good memories.  Don’t let them happen by accident.  Plan Birthday parties; plan activities for them to look forward to. Happy Children are usually Good Children. Let them look forward to Christmas. Don’t emphasize material things but try to teach them to get pleasure from simple household objects.  Children have great imaginations and do not need many material things to play with.

 

B.  Good food, good cooking odors in the home, relation visiting, playing with cousins.

 

C.  Prayers from Dad and Mother when they are sick. Prayers and kisses for hurt fingers.

 

D.  The knowledge that their parents are real Christians at home. That they believe the truth of the Bible and practice holiness.

 

Home

 

A.  Home is a gathering place for the Family. Here they are fed, sleep, taught what they need to know to prepare them for Life. They are taken care of and protected until they can care for themselves.

 

B.  The Right Environment at home contributes more to a child’s Character and Personality than any thing else.

 

C.  Children should not be ashamed of where they live. The home should be clean, with a neat yard and clean beds. They should not be afraid to bring Company into the house.

 

D.  A Good home does not mean a new or pretentious home. A Good home has a Good Feeling in it. The Preacher’s wife has to entertain a lot and need not worry about beautiful furnishings if people can feel relaxed in her home.

 

Laughter

 

A.  The Home should have laughter and the children should feel that it is Great to Live for God.

 

Hospitality

 

A. Hospitality is a part of the life of a minister and his family.  Children should be taught to greet guest and welcome them to the home by their actions.

 

B.  If possible a home should always have a Guest Room so the family does not have to shunt to other parts of the house to make room. A guest does not like to feel that he has taken someone ‘s room.

 

Authority

 

A. Often a mother destroys the Authority of the Father in the home by making all the decisions concerning the children.

 

B. Father should be consulted on all-important decisions.

 

C. If Father is gone from the house and a need for correcting child comes up, she should take care of it and not leave it for Father when he comes home.  She undermines her own authority.  If Father is correcting, she should hold her peace. If any has a difference as to the need for the correction, it should be discussed in private.

 

Meals

 

A.  Children should be fed properly and at the same time. The dinner meal is usually the time when everyone is home. It should be a relaxed time with no battles fought, or church problems discussed.

 

There should be no preachers children lost because home seemed to be a place of tenseness, work, worrying about those who made trouble in the church.  They must be made to see the excitement and privilege of being in a preacher’s home.

 

YOU ALONE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT.

 

Sis. June Starr

 

 

 

 

What I Learned Watching Dad……from a child’s eye-view

This is my sister Sara’s writing of our daddy. I am the oldest she is the youngest. She described him so well I wish to share it with as many in Ministry that I can.

Marcia Ballestero

What I Learned Watching Dad……from a child’s eye-view

by Sara Starr Copple

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAD!!!

This Wednesday will be my Father’s birthday. I am celebrating by acknowledging the mark he left on my life and many others. He has been gone from us for almost 24 years.    He has not been forgotten. I often have people stop me and mention something he said or did or an attribute he had that is still an inspiration and a guiding light. I was the baby of 5 girls. His late in life child. :-) I missed a lot of the early days of he & mom’s beginnings. When I came along… his life was very busy and in full swing.  He had a full time secular job, was a full time pastor & District Superintendent of Michigan District and filled many capacities on the national level. My sisters were married when I was very young. I was raised like an only child. I think I was probably the most challenging one- out of 5 girls for my parents to raise. Mom & Dad had the same purpose and what I say about him…applies to her also. She was the one home raising us and being with us day to day….when she wasn’t doing her various and many jobs as the Pastors wife, District work, Office, Advertisements, Finances/accounting,  Music Director,  Decorator, Secretary, Planner……teaching or taking classes, Real Estate, Artist, Speaker, Teacher, Builder, Sales, Fund Raising…you get the picture.  We knew what it was to be diligent in all you do.  I know he thought I was pretty strong headed at times.  As I reached my teen years I was least afraid of my sisters to debate with him.  I had a lot of questions and wasn’t afraid to ask.  I already had older sisters that claimed the good child place–guess I had to make my own way.  :-)  I’m sure I kept him on his toes.  I think when he would get me going really good…..he would start laughing….because the realization came to him….that his own personality traits were coming back from his offspring.

I observed many things that I didn’t understand then or even know were rare & valuable lessons.  He didn’t sit me down and tell me what I’m going to share with you……  And, he didn’t brag to others or even to our family.  He just lived it.  He was a dedicated Minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ first and foremost.  A pastor, preacher, pioneer of churches….I know that he was devoted–because I saw his life at home.  He didn’t use a lot of words in our home- day to day….but he walked each day in honesty– with intent and purpose.  He woke up early every day to go to work at the secretary of state office in Battle Creek.  He came home for supper and was off to prepare for an evening service or to care for the congregation or a district church function or pastors who needed his counsel.  Some of his secular work was investigation, presiding over hearings & giving judgments for people with too many points on their license. That’s where he got the tendency to be called, “the Judge”.  In my early teens I would have a little side job of bending stacks of car license plates back & forth -until they were broke in half to be discarded. Don’t remember what my wages were though. ha   So I can unofficially say I worked for the Michigan Secretary of States office. ha.  He taught me how to work hard and to take care of my family.  I was sitting at a friends house one day and had to listen to a gruff man complaining about my dad taking his drivers license away for having too many DUI’s.  Thankfully he didn’t know I was Mr. Starr’s  daughter and I didn’t share that info.

Dad was gone all day to provide adequately for his family and……so that he could put all of the income from the church–back into the church.  We had all that we needed growing up.  Medical, dental, clothing, good food…..all of the necessities were provided for and then some.   He never wanted us to have a feeling of doing without-because of the church or of saying we were not being provided for because of a Pastors’s lack of income and so that we wouldn’t be the brunt of peoples jokes and rude comments if they felt we had too much.  He did the extra job to make sure that we had what we needed with dignity. He wanted us to love God and the Church and not have bad feelings because our needs weren’t met or that we’d feel sorry for ourselves– as he’d seen some preachers kids go through in the early years. He couldn’t be said of- that he mishandled the Church’s money. He was ethical and he was giving. He was careful and honest with his business and finances. He would hurt himself before he would cause the church to have a bad reputation financially and wouldn’t take advantage of anyone else. He didn’t have a shady financial trail following him around. He made good on his word and made wise decisions. Carefully thought out and not ever rash.

I thought dad was too simple and conservative financially. But, now I can say….Wow, I was a lucky girl to have such a smart dad!  I remember how dad always bought used–American made cars.   #1- he was loyal to the Michigan Car industry.   #2-he refused to drive a flashy car or to spend money for a status symbol.  Dependable was all he required.  My first car he picked out- made me cry. lol   He went to an auction I think.  It was a $500- black Bobcat, no air, nothing automatic, no radio……hot in the summer, cold in the winter. I spun out more than once on the ice…the tires were thin and the car so light weight.  But, now I really don’t care what I drive. I don’t need a Mercedes to feel important. I leave the car buying to my husband. ha.  I don’t have to have new or the best of anything…..as long as it works.  I have a lot more possessions now than I did then.     But, I honestly could be happy without it–because I had a happy life in simplicity & careful economy.  He had humility–he was content with the simple things.  Mom decorated our home beautifully, creatively–but not with a lot of money.  She used her ingenuity.  Now decorating from my heart is my favorite. Don’t need brand names or a model home copy look. I like to pick things that are sentimental in feeling.  Because mom did. Love makes a home.  Our home wasn’t new and I would ask him often….”hey, why don’t you build a new house or get one in a nicer neighborhood where the new homes are–all the other Pastors seem to be living it up????ha.   He had no intentions of living high- even if he could-he wanted to live balanced and maybe even lower than most….he was pretty sure that’s what Jesus would do.  He had simple clothing–didn’t buy much.  Even if we bought him a fancy sweater he’d really feel it was too much.  He had a few same simple gray suits that he wore daily. Dad reminds me of Matlock.  ha.  He liked predictability. He taught me to be content with what I have.

I would go to conference, dressed nice….but didn’t know name brands to save my life.    My purses, shoes, clothes didn’t have a brand name–didn’t come from Nordstroms or Macy’s.  I remember being with pastor’s kids on a national level as they sported their designer wares with pride …….and status was sought after….I was very disinterested and didn’t understand it at all. That wasn’t a part of my world.  It didn’t mean anything to me.  My dad taught me there were more important things to give value to my life. Like loving  & serving people, learning new things,  enjoying good conversation, working toward goals, finding the gold in various types of  interesting people–and not in running after the “in” crowd of flashy personalities that seem to draw a group of eager followers…….but to cast my lot in genuine people who were loyal & sincere….they were always my favorite.    Sometimes they were the unpopular or maybe a quiet elderly friend who had many unseen, interesting skills and stories. One of my best older friends can cook a mean country breakfast and is an expert at wringing a chickens neck. ha. Those are the ones who I find interesting and who you will never hear them speak or read about their great exploits. Simple-but great. I looked for the ones who didn’t like you for outward reasons……IE. because of your popularity, what you could do for them or their name, because they think you have a good name or high financial status—or that they considered you important for their social climbing–rather I looked for those who liked you and were interested in you-just because….they liked you! ha.  I keep at arms length the back slappers, braggarts, and social climbers.  I guess because I watched that be a value to my dad.

He loved all people. He loved all cultures and he loved their different foods-he like to try something different. ha.  He treated all people as valuable. He loved the common man.  He was well loved in our city from the city officials to the drunk. He would stop for a young person that wanted to get his advice or see his viewpoint and give them his undivided attention.  He loved young people. He loved to spend time with young preachers.  He cared deeply for the poor, widowed, fatherless, prisoners….unknowing to me at that age…. there is a scripture that admonishes us to be thoughtful and attentive to people in need.  We often had drifters and addicts that would get our home address or the church’s and show up on our door step asking for money. If they were drunk….Dad would take them out to the local Big Boy for a coffee and a meal to sober them up before giving them cash that could be used for more alcohol.  At Thanksgiving he would load his car up with a basket of Turkey dinner fixings and drive them out to the poor families of our area. Years later the children of these families would grow up and be in the service industry in our city and do special favors for our family because they remembered my dad being kind to them as a child.  I remember as a really little girl–watching dad leave to personally deliver Christmas gifts to the disadvantage families he knew….. and I was crying with jealousy–wondering why those weren’t MY TOYS!!!!! ha.   Now, that I’m older….I can’t help but try to give something away every day.  I can hardly stand to hear of a need and not do something to fill it myself.  I look every child over to be sure they look whole,clothed, fed, and loved….if not that “Starr” trait seeks to find a solution if it’s at all possible.

He was my favorite preacher.  He hit the pulpit with fire and excitement and his thoughts were always a result of deep study and understanding of the Bible. He got his Masters’ from the University of Michigan early on and he used his education to study…but he said he didn’t use it to speak. He would speak very common and used current stories, humor and illustrations in a way that anyone could understand. He made me study all the preachers credential study materials to become a minister & take the classes– -he was hoping to have one preacher in the bunch.:-)  He had a love for learning and gaining new knowledge….he was the first person in his family to seek a University Level Education and wanted to be sure his younger siblings had the same opportunity. He went into the service to help pay for his education and sent his G.I. money home to his parents to help out with his younger sisters and  brother.  To be sure they had shoes and the things they needed and to help with college. He wanted to make sure they were all taken care of.    His interest was varied.  He loved sports but he never talked about it.  He’d listen on his radio in his car or on his own.  Of course UofM was his Alma Mater and team. He wasn’t artistic–but he loved art….he took me to museums in High School to give me an appreciation for art. We spent time at the Library and I gained his love for books & reading.  He wasn’t musical and couldn’t sing at all….but he coached me in singing….how to project my voice-to look people in the eye and connect and sing with feeling and passion.  He was a loyal friend. His best friend until he died was his old school buddy.   Howard Cole-an attorney-had shared many school experiences and memories…Howard wasn’t of our religious beliefs or a part of ministry-but the respect & friendship was a lifetime gift. We tend to lose tract of those who are not in our same career path or just like us.  But, they had a deep love and respect for each other that lasted through the years and he was there at dad’s funeral to speak in honor of him.  Loyalty to a friend—even if you are very different–was a trait I gained.  Dad liked good snacks–he could skip a hearty meal for a delicious snack……. and his all time favorite ice cream was Haagen Daz, Vanilla Swiss Almond….that is my number one favorite.  I guess because I remember sitting by him waiting for him to put a spoon full in my mouth and thinking it had to be the greatest thing he certainly acted like it was.  I can pass almost anything…until I see it’s Haagen Daz, Vanilla Swiss Almond and I can’t pass it up!!!!

My husband preached a moving sermon titled, “HUMILITY”  It wasn’t easy to preach.  It’s definitely not a popular subject.  Jesus wasn’t rich or famous….he was homeless and all about doing good to those he came in contact with and following the will of God above all –he was one that ate with sinners…..prostitutes and thieves……….Our congregation was greatly moved to examine our hearts and motives.  I told him- ‘you just don’t hear that preached anymore.’   Tom told me the mental picture he had when he thought of Humility…..was of my Father.  Dad did do many great things……….But he never twittered it, or facebook statused it or announced it or televised it….he just lived it in meekness and honesty.  Not many quote the scriptures on being meek or selfless….verses like–” Let another man’s lips praise you and not your own.”  Today it’s all about the Business Model of Ministry–Promote Yourself–Sell yourself–(guess they’ll hear about Jesus later???)   Try to look more Polished and Successful than your so called competition–Say it even if you haven’t yet done it–look it so others will think you are important….   Celebrity Status of Preachers is suppose to be the thing now….Promoting themselves and being braggadocios to get a following or gather members from other church’s instead of reaching for their own.  My dad exemplified an upright man of ethical practices, selflessness, faithfulness, justice, righteousness, meekness in strength, care for the lowly.  That is a very rare combination in our modern world.  I got very sad when I grew up to see the common thread of many Ministers is egotism…… pride and self promotion are the main traits of their ministry ……and then to find that ethics and honesty are not important to many today was disconcerting.  Mentally I look toward the shadow my dad casts and see that I had greatness leading me…. in the quiet/simple years of my childhood and didn’t know it.  Now, I realize all the richness that I have received early on.   Much more valuable than a monetary inheritance.  The Bible teaches us that…… a good name is rather to be had than great riches.  He gave me eyes to see the really important things…..that’s what I learned while watching my dad.

There is a very familiar Edgar Guest poem that says, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way;  The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear!”

Dad

Happy 45th Anniversary to My Love!!

8-14-65

Happy 45th Anniversary to My Love!!

Marcia J Ballestero to Martyn J Ballestero

Happy 45th Anniversary to The Love of My Life, For the Heart of My World.

The more our story unfolds, the happier I am that I chose you and you chose me to love and laugh and live with….

The home we have made together is my haven from life’s storms and I feel God there with us.

It has been a peaceful place to be with security and trust and lots of Love.

And at the heart of it all…there is you. Making even ordinary days extraordinary, reminding me how good life together can be.

The more our story unfolds, the more deeply I Love You.  Yes this is Happy 45th Anniversary and no unhappy feelings just a feeling of being so blessed that it was you God brought into my life at 18 years old. I was young, very young but I was so content and confident in my choice I made.

I Love You because I feel so much Love from you.

Our home  we made together has always been a haven from life’s storms and my quiet center.

1965

You have always made sure I knew you Loved me and I am glad that when we got married the courting did not stop. You have never been shy about saying elaborate loving words and compliments. I say Elaborate because I know many wonderful wives that wonder why they never hear those words. They got married and the fun courtship days were over. It has NEVER been that way with you.

As a Preacher you have been wonderful to hear. You are always so studied and interesting and can make someone understand and love how they hear it preached.  You have been a fair and loving father to our children and so generous with whatever we had to them.

You have NEVER been a tight wad type , you have never ask me one time what I spent of our money or what it was on. If there was money to spend you made sure I felt free to spend it.

You made fun times for the family and the list would be so long about the many times you have made my road so easy by being kind anyway no matter what was going on. We have a loving enjoyable by our God’s help and that you and I have been so much in Love with a purpose for our life. Our Purpose has been serving Jesus with our best we had and having a loving peaceful life together with as many Joys as we could fit in.

Thank You for all the years of nice conversation, thankful for your compliments which are so continuous no matter how homely I feel. You are a protector, of my feelings, our spiritual dedications, and just so many important parts of our life together even as a family. Thank You for making good times better. I Love You with all my heart.

Love Marcia

Once a Friend Always a Friend!!

Once a Friend Always a Friend

I hope the days of my title are not over. For me if I think I make a friend I may not call you regularly like you might want me to , but when I see you I want you to feel I still love our friendship. There are many reasons why you might not be able to keep a friendship and I know that.  There are friends that are embedded  into our hearts because of family, situations, association and then there is kindred spirits that bring you together. There are so many reasons that can start friendships and the Bible says a Friend Loveth at all Times.

I have friends that I enjoyed and loved so much because of our likeness in our families, our husbands in ministry, on and on situations. Some have come into my life and some have gone and when I see them again it seems they really could not care less if we talk again or smile together again. I don’t take that lightly it brings a touch of grief to my heart but I realize somehow there has been a change that I did not want but I can only keep my own spirit tender and I really just can only go as far as I am allowed to go in renewing our friendship again.  With this situation I want to always not respond in a rude unkind way a gesture their way is all I should do.  If the gesture is not accepted then I have done all I can do and no bitterness or unkind talk will repair our misunderstood friendship.

A lot is left up to me as to how things get repaired or become easier for me to even handle. I know in my own heart if the problem of the separation is my fault. Even in a marriage if you are rude and unkind or you have made rash statements and mistreated your companion or children a simple I am sorry I did you wrong is the quickest healer if you follow it through with more patience and tenderness which signals the other person you really meant what you said. Some people want to just smooth over rudeness with a smile or a gift without saying the wonderful healing words of I AM SORRY!! Why are those words so hard even you did not start the stress you probably lost the fruits of the spirit in the middle of the problem and now you need to repent face to face , eye to eye with you wife, husband , child or friend.  Those three words smooth the road better than any gift or whitewash technique you can try!!

Friends can make mistakes and hurt in a weak moment. One that does it constantly might not be considered a close friend. Some folks have a hard time keeping friends because they offend and are offended without restraints often. They disregard the Fruits of the Spirit and are selfish, and are possessive, maybe they somehow can’t handle more than one friend at a time because they are jealous and have a problem with sharing and caring through it all.  Some people are always so needy that you have a full time job when you have a friendship with them. They  are takers but have a hard time giving. When they are sick  or have a problem they expect you to be there, but if you have one and they know it they aren’t there for you and they just turn their head.  In My Lifetime I have learned and heard it said you have maybe three or four close friends. You have many friends maybe but then there are those that seem to stick close through thick and thin, through disappointments and sorrow and disillusionment they will hang in there.

Growing up I remember noticing that when some people had a clan of friends that they did things with and that seemed to be their main circle our family seemed to not have any certain folks other than family that we went on trips with or constantly fellow shipped.  I grew up feeling like I had to be able to live for God without having any certain friends or fellowship. I was pledged to doing the right thing to the best of my ability with help If I needed it and with God and family at my side.  I always thank God for Family and Friends they are a treasure in a world that can be cold and uncaring. If I want them to be there for me then I am there for them when I am needed. Life seems to give you back what you give out. If you are grouchy and stingy then you will reap very little tenderness or returns of generosity. Some people are so afraid that they will be taken advantage of if they are givers of their time and love and money. In all things you can control giving if needed, but if you aren’t careful you have little control over stinginess and selfishness.

I want to keep my heart and life tender and yet strong in the faith in what I know is right for me to keep close to God. Friendships are so important I want to be easily intreated as a family member and friend or saint of God.  I want to always feel like I am a Friend of God and if I am a Friend of God I will have a way that will bring Friends into my life to encourage and care about.  Friends are so necessary in marriage if you are not friends you sure got yourself in a fix for having a contented , caring, fun homelife. Why are people so afraid to marry a good friend,  and why do people cease to be friends when they get married?  I have heard a q uote , “Only a Friend Will Tell You” , some married people cannot even discuss fairly easy subjects let alone something that really needs to be talked about. They are not good enough friends maybe because the wife cannot trust the husband in money because he is careless as to taking good care of the family to the best of his ability. Just spends Crazy and she gets nothing back for her efforts as far as cash but he can spend what and whenever he decides. That can be vice versa, but the Bible does say for the Man to take care of his family or he is the same as an Infidel. Now days the men expect the woman to share in the outside job.  The roles have switched a bit. There may be a need but we need to remember that when you are friends in a marriage there is much more companionship and less anger and jealousy through it all. Never do we have physical violence or mental beat downs to settle our differences. Surely being a person that loves God and has the Fruits of the Spirit working can get through life showing they are friends and Trust the Lord and are gentle and trusting companions.

If I have ever felt like a friend I hope I can still be trusted and loved as a friend till Jesus comes with his help I am sure I can do that if you want me as a friend.

Happy Fathers Day To a Wonderful Father

Happy Fathers Day Honey

I am one of those girls that dreamed to getting married by 18 years old and having a dozen children. I did just that almost except the number of children ended up being five instead of a dozen.

Maybe that was a girls mind I had but, I was so blessed with finding the man of my dreams. He has been strong and tender all at the same time. We had four boys, Anthony, Bryan, MartynII, Andrew and one daughter, Marisa Hartzell.  The Ballestero name will go on in the Pentecostal Way.

I just have to say, Honey, You have been a strength of Stability Spiritually, strength because of the honorable way you have conducted yourself as a husband, father, Pastor, and now Evangelist, Son, Brother, Uncle. Thank you for always being so generous to our children and me with your time, love, patients, and you have helped guide the children to stay true to Jesus, his standards of living and conduct, and keep much love through it all.

I am the blessed one. This week I went to the hospital for a stone removal and now four days later I am home. I ended up with a Ventilator, and I thank the Lord you were right there.  I had the best nurse in my room all those long hours as I looked at the ceiling unable to talk. I was tied to the bed so I wouldn’t wake up and pull the ventilator out by mistake.  It felt like a brush with death unable to speak or move but somehow I relaxed and even though there was fear and tears when I could not speak I felt calm and loved.  I want to thank You for the kind of husband, and Daddy you have been. You show love and you are a builder of lives. When kids have difficulty and you could have felt angry and disturbed you have not been harsh only you had a way of tenderly reaching and holding and doing all you could to help things get better. It is no wonder you are so loved by your kids.  Thank You for being stable, sweet, loving and kind everyone doesn’t have the nice deals we have been blessed with. I Love You

What Are We Encouraging Godly or Worldly Attitudes and Style of Living!!

Our Girls at Christmas and Me

I have had a lot of eye opening, mind-boggling sights to behold in this life of mine. I used to know more when I was younger than I do now.  Well, I probably know more after some hair-raising heart breaking scenes of those that seem to rather feed on worldly dress, talk and ideas.

Young men with a desire to work for the Lord, a woman in your life can either help make you or break you. What can you do for God if your wife or girlfriend is sowing discord, undermining ministry and your leadership, whether it is Pastor or Sunday School Teacher or Youth Leader? If she will not respect you and have a tender, clean, honest, calm, non trouble making way, you are going NO where good, in the work of the Lord.

In Church work I have had hope for and loved some young women that acted like they wanted to be a Preachers wife. When I would see how they would stand against their Pastor if he changed a plan in the church or made a standard I knew unless there was a drastic change of heart she was pursuing ministry without a tender pliable teachable spirit. No way does that end up good.  It was so major to her and her feelings would be so ugly and disrespectful I would feel no hope of her being used of the Lord.

Erica our niece and Uncle Marty

The enemy is quick to fill the tender spot that we have in our heart that is teachable and easy to entreat for the work of the Lord. He gets his big foot in the door of our heart and if We Allow he will feed us with resentment, sarcasm, doubts, and he knows if we are materialistic and full of jealousy and fears he can have his way and destroy us and who we deal with.

Your sour, unfaithful, mean spirited attitude is not good material for God to use. I ask the Lord to give me a sweet strong spirit one that can calm and be calmed when things seem to not go my way.  I want to say God will be there with you.   Just be his child and lean on God and be sweet and easy to entreat. We go through some things and without being devastated because God protects us and keeps our hearts and mind tender towards people and him. You cannot be undermining leadership and living on the fringes never really backing the standards and living them with all your heart and be used of God for his kingdom in a great way.

You want to be respected and cherished then live with the Fruits of the Spirit working in your life. Read them, seek after them it will bring a wonderful goal to your life of Godliness, strength and peace. If you are hungry for friendship and a fun loving atmosphere in your home let the Fruits of the Spirit give you a wonderful start.

You don’t have to be a weak, sad, beat down Christian when you have the Fruits of the Spirit working in your life. It is a contagious word of God that lets the World know you are his child and have something in your life that they want. Your going to go through some stuff called for and uncalled for but with the Ten Commandments and Fruits of the Spirit working you are granting yourself and others around you a much more wonderful life and having the Holy Ghost makes the difference.

If I campaign for anything I sure don’t want it to be for anything that would lead myself or anyone else away from the Church and God or what standards that represent a clean Godly life style.

I hope we never forget that it is dangerous to have a bad attitude and talk against ANY man of God for any reason. You can be sly and put seeds of rebellion in others and if they are weak YOU helped that seed to grow. Sooner than you realize you will see things connected to your life take on the worldly airs instead of the tender sweet Godly way of life.  I made up my mind a long time ago, no matter where I land to live I will cause no grief, strife or make the mistake of sowing discord among the saints. I am a Preachers wife and been a Pastor’s wife, but I never get the right to cause church trouble. I am going to bake cakes, make good meals, and try to encourage everyone I can to love serving Jesus. I Love it and I Love being blessed of the Lord and I Love the Contentment that comes from living the way Jesus wants me to Live.

We have lots of fun!!

I just never feel like I need to let my own will and opinion be spilled out. If I am wrong I will suffer and others will suffer. I can have peace in the midst of a storm. The Lord is in Control if I let him be. If I take the wheel I will miss a turn in the road and he will allow me to miss the turn if I insist. He is God but as we say to our Children You made that Choice. Sorry it didn’t work out.

Are We Teaching Our Children to be Strong or Weak?

Are We Teaching Our Children To Be Strong or Weak?

Christyana and Kalyx my grand girls!!

I am really disturbed by the immodesty with our young ladies. Well, what is more disturbing is the mature ladies seem to forget that a low neckline reveals more and more.  I feel so uncomfortable with the trend of such low necklines that  well I feel embarrassed to say what I see. If a man did that it would be indecent exposure.   Oh, was that kind of crude? Well, I am usually not crude that is not my pattern I am tender with those that don’t know better. We know better that is who I am worried about and we allow it.

I wish I could say this nicely but what I see in so many of our sweet Pentecostal ladies is the ignoring of what others have to see. I have turned my head to talk to many a lady I have watched them go to the platform and I have to look at their whole knee and Lord spare us all if they bend over to pick up something or step on the risers for choir. I see nice young Christian men visiting with nice young Christian ladies that surely they see a way too much. What would a young preacher or good young man want to show interest in a girl that is loose talking and immodest at any area of her being. How dangerous is that?

Andy and Me a few Christmas's ago

I am wondering how short the sleeves are going to get too. They are barely cap sleeves and really as soon as they can get away with no sleeve at all and a real low revealing neckline well they will do it and it won’t be long. Moms are so afraid of confronting their daughters anymore that if dad doesn’t say something they are not going to go to the trouble of saying you are not dressing that way. What is your reason to dress that way anyway? Why ladies are you skirts sooo tight they look like you are poured into them. They cannot be comfortable and then you sit and also pull and tug at your top and your hem and never really remedy anything.

So now to make everyone comfortable and happy we can have revealingly low tops and revealingly short straight skirts so tight that it can’t be comfortable.

I say Why? Why? Who is impressed with that and who are we trying to impress? Does your husband like it? Not usually Does your boyfriend like it? Maybe and how dangerous is that. Does the Pastor feel comfortable for you to help with your example other young girls to dress like you.

It seems so many mommas can’t say no to their daughters wearing shorts, slacks, halter tops and if they don’t want to offend the church folks they will just have to wear it to school or to a school dance. That way they won’t offend church folks. Be sure your sins will find you out. All youth will have a problem to face for a space of time but if mom and dad won’t say no you are not going to dress immodest in school where else can they learn strength like they can and it is nothing to pity them about. When they start to play with drugs and drink and smoke can you not fight back about that and just say no. I love you too much.

I may seem like I am not that sweet lady that you love so much. Oh yes I am. I love deeply. I have had to stand up against the enemy. The devil has put thoughts in my head that maybe you might turn your daughter off if you stand against the way she wants to dress. And somehow a still small voice gently said just say,”Honey , I am so scared for you to dress that way or date that young man that doesn’t know Jesus, or whatever was going to bring danger to separate her from the desire to serve the Lord.

Marisa and Me

It doesn’t take long for your teenager or pre-teenager to decide YES I get to do what I want and soon it is something else at school that is forbidden that becomes OK and then pretty soon you kid doesn’t worship, doesn’t want to go to youth night, doesn’t want to pray and feel no conviction.

Conviction is replaced with worldliness that they are now allowed to partake of. They will protect the ability to be Worldly then much more than to keep tender before the Lord and No more desire to be a part of the Youth Group it is Gone. Hopefully it will come back when they grow up. But don’t count on it.

I am back in my home town and I Love all Backsliders but they are so mixed up and full of doubt it isn’t the Hypocrites of the churches fault, It isn’t the unfriendly people of the church it is that one day they were allowed or allowed themselves to get started down a road of life that made them so distant from God that they only can vaguely remember how sweet it was growing up in a Godly home with Parents that loved going to church and bringing them to the best place on earth, God’s House.

Kim(Anthony's Wife and Mom B

Somehow I feel so protected and loved by Jesus . I remember how I was raised and our home had peace in it. There were many hectic times getting ready for church and some hectic times were just life, but miss church No we did not. We were treated with tenderness and got disciplined in a non abusive way. Thank God for Parents that did not give us a chance to feel unloved or like life was so terrible because we couldn’t wear makeup, jewelry, pants, shorts, cut our hair, wear evening gowns without sleeves we could do things that were good for us and there is plenty of good substitutes to put in the place of things that will forever maybe damage and draw away from God the souls of our girls and boys.

I feel like I was saved from a Prepaid ticket to a Devils Hell where the worm does not die and there is no breaks from that horrible place. Heaven sounds so good to me. I am afraid to take the chance that perhaps I will turn back to God. No He is the best thing that ever happens to anyone.

So if you say daughter you cannot wear shorts, slacks, halter tops immodest apparel, lipstick, No you cannot cut your hair. No you cannot go to the School Prom and party with drinking kids after wards. No you cannot miss church for a movie. No you cannot go to your boyfriends’ home without adults around. No you cannot break the rules and guidelines of the church. So you think you cannot say no. You can say no when you want to. You can be strong about what you decide to .

Marisa and Uncle David Trammell and Aunt Rebecca

Our Family has had a rough road too, but something made us Love yet fight for our kids to be not so involved with the World that they decided they would rather do that. The Devils job is to see who will just give in and then he has one more on his team. Love, Tenderness and standing strong and true to God and following our wonderful leadership will keep our Families Safe and we will have less losses.