No Pity Needed !!
If they told me that hell isn’t real and there is no heaven to gain, I would still love the life I am living for Jesus. Just why would my life be better with a cigarette, or a freedom to drink booze. If I could dress any way I want to with no restraints about men’s apparel or wearing shorts and halter tops how would that enhance my looks or give me more respect. Skinny or Chubby I feel relieved to see a Lady dress modestly and lady like.
I wouldn’t look better with my hair cut off like a man or or even stringing down my back unkempt. It is a little work to look neat and decently dressed, but the feeling of taking care about how you act and looked is much more relaxing than the alternative of just going about any way you decide and feel.
I still like to see mom’s teach their little girls from a young age how to sit Lady like and how beautiful they are without makeup, and jewelry. It seems like some Pentecostal mom’s think their daughters are deprived if they don’t allow them to wear make up, short sleeved dresses, slacks and shorts. I grew up seeing Mom look so pretty even when she was casual she looked attractive and she taught me that is the way to look attractive. You dress modestly, you look natural and you act like a lady with a sweet manner and that is the easiest way to be pretty.
The happiest most well adjusted little girls I see are ones that they have been taught basic manners, modesty and how to handle themselves in a poised manner. You never hurt your daughter by not giving in to worldly dress or jewelry and makeup. The beauty comes from within to the outside. If you are beautiful but arrogant you are not easy to be around and you will lack the wholesome friendships that you could have.
How nice it is to see a mom take time to do lady things with their daughters. The relationship of a mom and her daughter is enhanced not by how many clothes you buy her by demand, but how many little things you simply do that are gradually teaching her to be pleased with lady things. Start by doing a little tea at the house some pretty teacups, or take a little pleasure in helping her dress nicely for church and look her age and enjoy without real expensive clothes, where she looks at other girls and compares prices. Clothes that are fitting for her age as she grows. It is not how much you spend that brings happy feelings. If you start out quoting prices and spending high prices it becomes a must and takes the contentment out of anything ordinary.
The Bible is the most peaceful guide in how we should bring our girls up. They can be out going or quiet in nature and if you teach them manners and wholesome living either temperament can be a joy. It is good to make over your child and compliment them every chance you get. Teach them how to allow others to compliment them and how much sweeter it feels to not prompt other to brag on you, by bragging on yourself. How good it is for them to learn to compliment others and share the joy of others also. Some learn to be takers but not givers.
Manners have to be taught. The best way to teach someone to me is making it a fun thing instead of drudgery. Some learn to work or not want to work by the harsh style of how they were taught. Teaching in life should not always be a harsh dreadful time. I have heard mom’s sing songs of pick up clean up or make work a more rewarding fun time and that would make a child have fun and learn not to dread work or manners. If you are always punishing and getting overly harsh then the ease that kids can get from what they need to do and have to do is destroyed. Let the pattern they have to cut out and live by simple.
In all we are teaching it is easier to teach and learn if you are not harsh, and so ready to punish. Tension and dread stunts the growth of good character development. If you the teacher want respect and consistent obedience without inner resentment and having to force without it becoming a way of life, you need to pay attention to how you are teaching. Is it with harsh, angry force or full of threats instead of making it appealing to do? Most things can be taught and made to feel like a livable non-threatening thing to do. You should explain why and how it is just better, or nicer way to do it this way.
If you never let your child talk about things with you without getting upset or shutting them up then there will come a day you will want to communicate in an easy manner, but you didn’t create that so they will share their communication with others. They will not find you to be the one they can share their confusion or disappointments or joys with because you did not cultivate a easy communication no matter whether it is with joy or trouble.
I have been so blessed to raise my own children in the fear of the Lord. To me the fear of the Lord means that I want to please him. I want him to approve. It is not with dread although I know if I don’t follow his commands and obey that I will suffer and lose his approval. He makes my life so pleasant and the benefits are worth whatever the rules. The rules are not excruciatingly harsh they are what brings me quality of life and I live them easy. I am deprived of nothing good for me. I can enjoy with my guidelines a pattern to keep me safe and in tune with him.
If you have rules in your home of what you allow or don’t allow why is it that you challenge rules in church. I see people that are not very God conscious making statements of how they want God with no rules. I don’t want that kind of relationship. God is Love and he protects me with what I learn to live by. The Ten Commandments are rules, the scripture has guidelines, your job will tell you good bye if you don’t follow rules. If there were no rules or regards for how you are treated, or how you treat others, you would not want to keep working there.
There are codes to live by in your home that brings comfort and peace and helps to bring a nice environment to live there for everyone there. It doesn’t mean that you should be overbearing and make strenuous rules that bring tension and resentment, you have defeated your own life and those that have to live with you. The Fruits of the Spirit cushions our life to live what we live and feel good about it.
When you want to get a point across don’t cross out church. Are you having trouble with your child? So they love to go to church and they love their friends at church. If you punish and are thinking of what means most, why don’t you ground them from a youth function, youth night, youth conference that they were looking so forward to? Why don’t you get them where it hurts the most in their fellowship of good church kids? If you must punish don’t squash their desire to do church functions or by separating them from church friends.
They will find their fellowship needs elsewhere in their world and lose their desire for church. I have counted the cost and that loss is long lasting and too devastating spiritually to be worth the risk to get your point across. I never want to kill the excitement of church functions. In you’re taking away don’t take away the church; you might be replacing the love for church with disdain and resentment.
We make adjustments and we live by codes, and rules, but we are living a good life and not missing the good important things of life.
The most fun, classy wholesome people I know are living of the best of life, not deprived of worldly dress or activities just safe and dedicated and loving it. Their happy bright pleasing contented manner gives me peace in knowing this is the best way to live.
I have been raised not with pity at what I don’t do. I know why I don’t do what I don’t do and it has been explained and I have seen the value in why. I get to do so many good things that it has replaced the don’ts. No pity or mocking necessary for me.