Love Your Strong Headed Kid !!
What do you do when you suddenly can no longer handle what is going on?
I wish I could answer that in a nice easy manner, but we are all different and have all kinds of our own selves to handle. I sure don’t feel like I have all the answers but I have had to handle some stuff whether I wanted to or not.
There comes a time when it no longer is profitable to sit your child in a corner. You sure make things worse when you begin to openly speak to others bad about your so-called problem kid. By the time you get into the troubling situation where you feel you have lost control and are no longer the authority on corralling the enormous hard to deal with situation.
God has done work on me and life has also while I was agonizing and dealing with I thought more than I could bear. I have learned so much by watching and my husband has helped to calm me with just the right words. In dealing with tough unyielding kids after they are old enough to make some decisions and live on their own I have found 1. Prayer 2. Love 3. Controlling my own thoughts and words 4. Self Control in venting and exposing how mad I am and how embarrassed I am. 5. Keep your door to your house open and your heart.
Walls go up and iron bars lock gates of communication with resentment and harsh talk. You can get no where when the one you want to convince sees you care more about how you feel than how they feel. You think maybe I can ignore and shut them out they will learn, only for them to move farther away because you seem to be trying to destroy them. All the time you might be hurting and wanting the best for them but the Bible does say ,”A soft answer turns away wrath”.
I have learned to love and care for boyfriends and girlfriends of my kids that I was scared to death of. I wanted to say no, but I did not want the relationship to go under ground and be separated from our family. I have spent many a evening fellowshipping and making meals for the same right in my own home.
I have not been able to just say no like you should to drugs! I have appeared to say yes and soon with some I did begin to enjoy and love the person I thought I couldn’t. And I struggled to keep the fruits of the spirit alive. And worried but I realized that the other person begin to care about me because it was felt I cared about them. The real deal about all of this is that I felt I had to show love no matter how I felt as much or more to the other person than I did for my own child. To control this I worried about so much, I had to first of all control myself, and how I dealt with it all.
What was a eye opener to me was I finally accepted that this person was going to be a part of our family. When I least expected it my kid did the unexpected and broke up and started dating someone else and married that someone else. I could have wasted a lot of good anger and helped to hurry the wrong ones to go ahead and marry.
We had already decided when our children found the one they thought they loved we would love who they loved no matter what. That might be a rough thought but it has brought us through still intact as a family. Maybe shook up, but we can settle back down and enjoy life again.
I have strong feelings and ideas of what I want for my children. I am quietly strong about some things, and I am glad because I have not always been in charge. I just want to be able to still have influence and good fellowship with those I love and need to have some influence over.
Sometimes we have to accept and learn to be steady and well mannered ourselves for others to even want us to be a part . I want to be very careful how I treat my very own children with a pure kind and showing love no matter what. If I don’t show love then I lose my grip on how much I can be respected and needed.
It would be better even if their presence irritates you for you to make a place in your heart to work on loving them. If they marry them you haven’t lost so much and created huge memories of anger to try to erase and forget. It is better to be slow to anger and quick to kindness. You lose less and can still be able to turn grief into joy.
Sometimes our own pride and mentality is our worst enemy. We have our own plans and now they are not going our way. We become what we hate most . Our influence is best when we are tender and show love.
God can turn your grief to joy. I have seen it happen to myself. If I would have handled it like I wanted to I would have suffered more. I am thankful for the Fruits of the Spirit.