Monthly Archives: July 2010

Once a Friend Always a Friend!!

Once a Friend Always a Friend

I hope the days of my title are not over. For me if I think I make a friend I may not call you regularly like you might want me to , but when I see you I want you to feel I still love our friendship. There are many reasons why you might not be able to keep a friendship and I know that.  There are friends that are embedded  into our hearts because of family, situations, association and then there is kindred spirits that bring you together. There are so many reasons that can start friendships and the Bible says a Friend Loveth at all Times.

I have friends that I enjoyed and loved so much because of our likeness in our families, our husbands in ministry, on and on situations. Some have come into my life and some have gone and when I see them again it seems they really could not care less if we talk again or smile together again. I don’t take that lightly it brings a touch of grief to my heart but I realize somehow there has been a change that I did not want but I can only keep my own spirit tender and I really just can only go as far as I am allowed to go in renewing our friendship again.  With this situation I want to always not respond in a rude unkind way a gesture their way is all I should do.  If the gesture is not accepted then I have done all I can do and no bitterness or unkind talk will repair our misunderstood friendship.

A lot is left up to me as to how things get repaired or become easier for me to even handle. I know in my own heart if the problem of the separation is my fault. Even in a marriage if you are rude and unkind or you have made rash statements and mistreated your companion or children a simple I am sorry I did you wrong is the quickest healer if you follow it through with more patience and tenderness which signals the other person you really meant what you said. Some people want to just smooth over rudeness with a smile or a gift without saying the wonderful healing words of I AM SORRY!! Why are those words so hard even you did not start the stress you probably lost the fruits of the spirit in the middle of the problem and now you need to repent face to face , eye to eye with you wife, husband , child or friend.  Those three words smooth the road better than any gift or whitewash technique you can try!!

Friends can make mistakes and hurt in a weak moment. One that does it constantly might not be considered a close friend. Some folks have a hard time keeping friends because they offend and are offended without restraints often. They disregard the Fruits of the Spirit and are selfish, and are possessive, maybe they somehow can’t handle more than one friend at a time because they are jealous and have a problem with sharing and caring through it all.  Some people are always so needy that you have a full time job when you have a friendship with them. They  are takers but have a hard time giving. When they are sick  or have a problem they expect you to be there, but if you have one and they know it they aren’t there for you and they just turn their head.  In My Lifetime I have learned and heard it said you have maybe three or four close friends. You have many friends maybe but then there are those that seem to stick close through thick and thin, through disappointments and sorrow and disillusionment they will hang in there.

Growing up I remember noticing that when some people had a clan of friends that they did things with and that seemed to be their main circle our family seemed to not have any certain folks other than family that we went on trips with or constantly fellow shipped.  I grew up feeling like I had to be able to live for God without having any certain friends or fellowship. I was pledged to doing the right thing to the best of my ability with help If I needed it and with God and family at my side.  I always thank God for Family and Friends they are a treasure in a world that can be cold and uncaring. If I want them to be there for me then I am there for them when I am needed. Life seems to give you back what you give out. If you are grouchy and stingy then you will reap very little tenderness or returns of generosity. Some people are so afraid that they will be taken advantage of if they are givers of their time and love and money. In all things you can control giving if needed, but if you aren’t careful you have little control over stinginess and selfishness.

I want to keep my heart and life tender and yet strong in the faith in what I know is right for me to keep close to God. Friendships are so important I want to be easily intreated as a family member and friend or saint of God.  I want to always feel like I am a Friend of God and if I am a Friend of God I will have a way that will bring Friends into my life to encourage and care about.  Friends are so necessary in marriage if you are not friends you sure got yourself in a fix for having a contented , caring, fun homelife. Why are people so afraid to marry a good friend,  and why do people cease to be friends when they get married?  I have heard a q uote , “Only a Friend Will Tell You” , some married people cannot even discuss fairly easy subjects let alone something that really needs to be talked about. They are not good enough friends maybe because the wife cannot trust the husband in money because he is careless as to taking good care of the family to the best of his ability. Just spends Crazy and she gets nothing back for her efforts as far as cash but he can spend what and whenever he decides. That can be vice versa, but the Bible does say for the Man to take care of his family or he is the same as an Infidel. Now days the men expect the woman to share in the outside job.  The roles have switched a bit. There may be a need but we need to remember that when you are friends in a marriage there is much more companionship and less anger and jealousy through it all. Never do we have physical violence or mental beat downs to settle our differences. Surely being a person that loves God and has the Fruits of the Spirit working can get through life showing they are friends and Trust the Lord and are gentle and trusting companions.

If I have ever felt like a friend I hope I can still be trusted and loved as a friend till Jesus comes with his help I am sure I can do that if you want me as a friend.