Category Archives: Children

What I Learned Watching Dad……from a child’s eye-view

This is my sister Sara’s writing of our daddy. I am the oldest she is the youngest. She was telling me the other day about a health supplement that she began taking. Apparently it is called KratomMasters. So far it has been working great for her, and it is natural and safe to take. I think I may actually try it myself as well. She described him so well I wish to share it with as many in Ministry that I can.

Marcia Ballestero

What I Learned Watching Dad……from a child’s eye-view

by Sara Starr Copple


This Wednesday will be my Father’s birthday. I am celebrating by acknowledging the mark he left on my life and many others. He has been gone from us for almost 24 years.    He has not been forgotten. I often have people stop me and mention something he said or did or an attribute he had that is still an inspiration and a guiding light. I was the baby of 5 girls. His late in life child. 🙂 I missed a lot of the early days of he & mom’s beginnings. When I came along… his life was very busy and in full swing.  He had a full time secular job, was a full time pastor & District Superintendent of Michigan District and filled many capacities on the national level. My sisters were married when I was very young. I was raised like an only child. I think I was probably the most challenging one- out of 5 girls for my parents to raise. Mom & Dad had the same purpose and what I say about him…applies to her also. She was the one home raising us and being with us day to day….when she wasn’t doing her various and many jobs as the Pastors wife, District work, Office, Advertisements, Finances/accounting,  Music Director,  Decorator, Secretary, Planner……teaching or taking classes, Real Estate, Artist, Speaker, Teacher, Builder, Sales, Fund Raising…you get the picture.  We knew what it was to be diligent in all you do.  I know he thought I was pretty strong headed at times.  As I reached my teen years I was least afraid of my sisters to debate with him.  I had a lot of questions and wasn’t afraid to ask.  I already had older sisters that claimed the good child place–guess I had to make my own way.  🙂  I’m sure I kept him on his toes.  I think when he would get me going really good…..he would start laughing….because the realization came to him….that his own personality traits were coming back from his offspring.

I observed many things that I didn’t understand then or even know were rare & valuable lessons.  He didn’t sit me down and tell me what I’m going to share with you……  And, he didn’t brag to others or even to our family.  He just lived it.  He was a dedicated Minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ first and foremost.  A pastor, preacher, pioneer of churches….I know that he was devoted–because I saw his life at home.  He didn’t use a lot of words in our home- day to day….but he walked each day in honesty– with intent and purpose.  He woke up early every day to go to work at the secretary of state office in Battle Creek.  He came home for supper and was off to prepare for an evening service or to care for the congregation or a district church function or pastors who needed his counsel.  Some of his secular work was investigation, presiding over hearings & giving judgments for people with too many points on their license. That’s where he got the tendency to be called, “the Judge”.  In my early teens I would have a little side job of bending stacks of car license plates back & forth -until they were broke in half to be discarded. Don’t remember what my wages were though. ha   So I can unofficially say I worked for the Michigan Secretary of States office. ha.  He taught me how to work hard and to take care of my family.  I was sitting at a friends house one day and had to listen to a gruff man complaining about my dad taking his drivers license away for having too many DUI’s.  Thankfully he didn’t know I was Mr. Starr’s  daughter and I didn’t share that info.

Dad was gone all day to provide adequately for his family and……so that he could put all of the income from the church–back into the church.  We had all that we needed growing up.  Medical, dental, clothing, good food…..all of the necessities were provided for and then some.   He never wanted us to have a feeling of doing without-because of the church or of saying we were not being provided for because of a Pastors’s lack of income and so that we wouldn’t be the brunt of peoples jokes and rude comments if they felt we had too much.  He did the extra job to make sure that we had what we needed with dignity. He wanted us to love God and the Church and not have bad feelings because our needs weren’t met or that we’d feel sorry for ourselves– as he’d seen some preachers kids go through in the early years. He couldn’t be said of- that he mishandled the Church’s money. He was ethical and he was giving. He was careful and honest with his business and finances. He would hurt himself before he would cause the church to have a bad reputation financially and wouldn’t take advantage of anyone else. He didn’t have a shady financial trail following him around. He made good on his word and made wise decisions. Carefully thought out and not ever rash.

I thought dad was too simple and conservative financially. But, now I can say….Wow, I was a lucky girl to have such a smart dad!  I remember how dad always bought used–American made cars.   #1- he was loyal to the Michigan Car industry.   #2-he refused to drive a flashy car or to spend money for a status symbol.  Dependable was all he required.  My first car he picked out- made me cry. lol   He went to an auction I think.  It was a $500- black Bobcat, no air, nothing automatic, no radio……hot in the summer, cold in the winter. I spun out more than once on the ice…the tires were thin and the car so light weight.  But, now I really don’t care what I drive. I don’t need a Mercedes to feel important. I leave the car buying to my husband. ha.  I don’t have to have new or the best of anything… long as it works.  I have a lot more possessions now than I did then.     But, I honestly could be happy without it–because I had a happy life in simplicity & careful economy.  He had humility–he was content with the simple things.  Mom decorated our home beautifully, creatively–but not with a lot of money.  She used her ingenuity.  Now decorating from my heart is my favorite. Don’t need brand names or a model home copy look. I like to pick things that are sentimental in feeling.  Because mom did. Love makes a home.  Our home wasn’t new and I would ask him often….”hey, why don’t you build a new house or get one in a nicer neighborhood where the new homes are–all the other Pastors seem to be living it up????ha.   He had no intentions of living high- even if he could-he wanted to live balanced and maybe even lower than most….he was pretty sure that’s what Jesus would do.  He had simple clothing–didn’t buy much.  Even if we bought him a fancy sweater he’d really feel it was too much.  He had a few same simple gray suits that he wore daily. Dad reminds me of Matlock.  ha.  He liked predictability. He taught me to be content with what I have.

I would go to conference, dressed nice….but didn’t know name brands to save my life.    My purses, shoes, clothes didn’t have a brand name–didn’t come from Nordstroms or Macy’s.  I remember being with pastor’s kids on a national level as they sported their designer wares with pride …….and status was sought after….I was very disinterested and didn’t understand it at all. That wasn’t a part of my world.  It didn’t mean anything to me.  My dad taught me there were more important things to give value to my life. Like loving  & serving people, learning new things,  enjoying good conversation, working toward goals, finding the gold in various types of  interesting people–and not in running after the “in” crowd of flashy personalities that seem to draw a group of eager followers…….but to cast my lot in genuine people who were loyal & sincere….they were always my favorite.    Sometimes they were the unpopular or maybe a quiet elderly friend who had many unseen, interesting skills and stories. One of my best older friends can cook a mean country breakfast and is an expert at wringing a chickens neck. ha. Those are the ones who I find interesting and who you will never hear them speak or read about their great exploits. Simple-but great. I looked for the ones who didn’t like you for outward reasons……IE. because of your popularity, what you could do for them or their name, because they think you have a good name or high financial status—or that they considered you important for their social climbing–rather I looked for those who liked you and were interested in you-just because….they liked you! ha.  I keep at arms length the back slappers, braggarts, and social climbers.  I guess because I watched that be a value to my dad.

He loved all people. He loved all cultures and he loved their different foods-he like to try something different. ha.  He treated all people as valuable. He loved the common man.  He was well loved in our city from the city officials to the drunk. He would stop for a young person that wanted to get his advice or see his viewpoint and give them his undivided attention.  He loved young people. He loved to spend time with young preachers.  He cared deeply for the poor, widowed, fatherless, prisoners….unknowing to me at that age…. there is a scripture that admonishes us to be thoughtful and attentive to people in need.  We often had drifters and addicts that would get our home address or the church’s and show up on our door step asking for money. If they were drunk….Dad would take them out to the local Big Boy for a coffee and a meal to sober them up before giving them cash that could be used for more alcohol.  At Thanksgiving he would load his car up with a basket of Turkey dinner fixings and drive them out to the poor families of our area. Years later the children of these families would grow up and be in the service industry in our city and do special favors for our family because they remembered my dad being kind to them as a child.  I remember as a really little girl–watching dad leave to personally deliver Christmas gifts to the disadvantage families he knew….. and I was crying with jealousy–wondering why those weren’t MY TOYS!!!!! ha.   Now, that I’m older….I can’t help but try to give something away every day.  I can hardly stand to hear of a need and not do something to fill it myself.  I look every child over to be sure they look whole,clothed, fed, and loved….if not that “Starr” trait seeks to find a solution if it’s at all possible.

He was my favorite preacher.  He hit the pulpit with fire and excitement and his thoughts were always a result of deep study and understanding of the Bible. He got his Masters’ from the University of Michigan early on and he used his education to study…but he said he didn’t use it to speak. He would speak very common and used current stories, humor and illustrations in a way that anyone could understand. He made me study all the preachers credential study materials to become a minister & take the classes– -he was hoping to have one preacher in the bunch.:-)  He had a love for learning and gaining new knowledge….he was the first person in his family to seek a University Level Education and wanted to be sure his younger siblings had the same opportunity. He went into the service to help pay for his education and sent his G.I. money home to his parents to help out with his younger sisters and  brother.  To be sure they had shoes and the things they needed and to help with college. He wanted to make sure they were all taken care of.    His interest was varied.  He loved sports but he never talked about it.  He’d listen on his radio in his car or on his own.  Of course UofM was his Alma Mater and team. He wasn’t artistic–but he loved art….he took me to museums in High School to give me an appreciation for art. We spent time at the Library and I gained his love for books & reading.  He wasn’t musical and couldn’t sing at all….but he coached me in singing….how to project my voice-to look people in the eye and connect and sing with feeling and passion.  He was a loyal friend. His best friend until he died was his old school buddy.   Howard Cole-an attorney-had shared many school experiences and memories…Howard wasn’t of our religious beliefs or a part of ministry-but the respect & friendship was a lifetime gift. We tend to lose tract of those who are not in our same career path or just like us.  But, they had a deep love and respect for each other that lasted through the years and he was there at dad’s funeral to speak in honor of him.  Loyalty to a friend—even if you are very different–was a trait I gained.  Dad liked good snacks–he could skip a hearty meal for a delicious snack……. and his all time favorite ice cream was Haagen Daz, Vanilla Swiss Almond….that is my number one favorite.  I guess because I remember sitting by him waiting for him to put a spoon full in my mouth and thinking it had to be the greatest thing he certainly acted like it was.  I can pass almost anything…until I see it’s Haagen Daz, Vanilla Swiss Almond and I can’t pass it up!!!!

My husband preached a moving sermon titled, “HUMILITY”  It wasn’t easy to preach.  It’s definitely not a popular subject.  Jesus wasn’t rich or famous….he was homeless and all about doing good to those he came in contact with and following the will of God above all –he was one that ate with sinners…..prostitutes and thieves……….Our congregation was greatly moved to examine our hearts and motives.  I told him- ‘you just don’t hear that preached anymore.’   Tom told me the mental picture he had when he thought of Humility…..was of my Father.  Dad did do many great things……….But he never twittered it, or facebook statused it or announced it or televised it….he just lived it in meekness and honesty.  Not many quote the scriptures on being meek or selfless….verses like–” Let another man’s lips praise you and not your own.”  Today it’s all about the Business Model of Ministry–Promote Yourself–Sell yourself–(guess they’ll hear about Jesus later???)   Try to look more Polished and Successful than your so called competition–Say it even if you haven’t yet done it–look it so others will think you are important….   Celebrity Status of Preachers is suppose to be the thing now….Promoting themselves and being braggadocios to get a following or gather members from other church’s instead of reaching for their own.  My dad exemplified an upright man of ethical practices, selflessness, faithfulness, justice, righteousness, meekness in strength, care for the lowly.  That is a very rare combination in our modern world.  I got very sad when I grew up to see the common thread of many Ministers is egotism…… pride and self promotion are the main traits of their ministry ……and then to find that ethics and honesty are not important to many today was disconcerting.  Mentally I look toward the shadow my dad casts and see that I had greatness leading me…. in the quiet/simple years of my childhood and didn’t know it.  Now, I realize all the richness that I have received early on.   Much more valuable than a monetary inheritance.  The Bible teaches us that…… a good name is rather to be had than great riches.  He gave me eyes to see the really important things…..that’s what I learned while watching my dad.

There is a very familiar Edgar Guest poem that says, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way;  The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear!”


Are We Teaching Our Children to be Strong or Weak?

Are We Teaching Our Children To Be Strong or Weak?

Christyana and Kalyx my grand girls!!

I am really disturbed by the immodesty with our young ladies. Well, what is more disturbing is the mature ladies seem to forget that a low neckline reveals more and more.  I feel so uncomfortable with the trend of such low necklines that  well I feel embarrassed to say what I see. If a man did that it would be indecent exposure.   Oh, was that kind of crude? Well, I am usually not crude that is not my pattern I am tender with those that don’t know better. We know better that is who I am worried about and we allow it.

I wish I could say this nicely but what I see in so many of our sweet Pentecostal ladies is the ignoring of what others have to see. I have turned my head to talk to many a lady I have watched them go to the platform and I have to look at their whole knee and Lord spare us all if they bend over to pick up something or step on the risers for choir. I see nice young Christian men visiting with nice young Christian ladies that surely they see a way too much. What would a young preacher or good young man want to show interest in a girl that is loose talking and immodest at any area of her being. How dangerous is that?

Andy and Me a few Christmas's ago

I am wondering how short the sleeves are going to get too. They are barely cap sleeves and really as soon as they can get away with no sleeve at all and a real low revealing neckline well they will do it and it won’t be long. Moms are so afraid of confronting their daughters anymore that if dad doesn’t say something they are not going to go to the trouble of saying you are not dressing that way. What is your reason to dress that way anyway? Why ladies are you skirts sooo tight they look like you are poured into them. They cannot be comfortable and then you sit and also pull and tug at your top and your hem and never really remedy anything.

So now to make everyone comfortable and happy we can have revealingly low tops and revealingly short straight skirts so tight that it can’t be comfortable.

I say Why? Why? Who is impressed with that and who are we trying to impress? Does your husband like it? Not usually Does your boyfriend like it? Maybe and how dangerous is that. Does the Pastor feel comfortable for you to help with your example other young girls to dress like you.

It seems so many mommas can’t say no to their daughters wearing shorts, slacks, halter tops and if they don’t want to offend the church folks they will just have to wear it to school or to a school dance. That way they won’t offend church folks. Be sure your sins will find you out. All youth will have a problem to face for a space of time but if mom and dad won’t say no you are not going to dress immodest in school where else can they learn strength like they can and it is nothing to pity them about. When they start to play with drugs and drink and smoke can you not fight back about that and just say no. I love you too much.

I may seem like I am not that sweet lady that you love so much. Oh yes I am. I love deeply. I have had to stand up against the enemy. The devil has put thoughts in my head that maybe you might turn your daughter off if you stand against the way she wants to dress. And somehow a still small voice gently said just say,”Honey , I am so scared for you to dress that way or date that young man that doesn’t know Jesus, or whatever was going to bring danger to separate her from the desire to serve the Lord.

Marisa and Me

It doesn’t take long for your teenager or pre-teenager to decide YES I get to do what I want and soon it is something else at school that is forbidden that becomes OK and then pretty soon you kid doesn’t worship, doesn’t want to go to youth night, doesn’t want to pray and feel no conviction.

Conviction is replaced with worldliness that they are now allowed to partake of. They will protect the ability to be Worldly then much more than to keep tender before the Lord and No more desire to be a part of the Youth Group it is Gone. Hopefully it will come back when they grow up. But don’t count on it.

I am back in my home town and I Love all Backsliders but they are so mixed up and full of doubt it isn’t the Hypocrites of the churches fault, It isn’t the unfriendly people of the church it is that one day they were allowed or allowed themselves to get started down a road of life that made them so distant from God that they only can vaguely remember how sweet it was growing up in a Godly home with Parents that loved going to church and bringing them to the best place on earth, God’s House.

Kim(Anthony's Wife and Mom B

Somehow I feel so protected and loved by Jesus . I remember how I was raised and our home had peace in it. There were many hectic times getting ready for church and some hectic times were just life, but miss church No we did not. We were treated with tenderness and got disciplined in a non abusive way. Thank God for Parents that did not give us a chance to feel unloved or like life was so terrible because we couldn’t wear makeup, jewelry, pants, shorts, cut our hair, wear evening gowns without sleeves we could do things that were good for us and there is plenty of good substitutes to put in the place of things that will forever maybe damage and draw away from God the souls of our girls and boys.

I feel like I was saved from a Prepaid ticket to a Devils Hell where the worm does not die and there is no breaks from that horrible place. Heaven sounds so good to me. I am afraid to take the chance that perhaps I will turn back to God. No He is the best thing that ever happens to anyone.

So if you say daughter you cannot wear shorts, slacks, halter tops immodest apparel, lipstick, No you cannot cut your hair. No you cannot go to the School Prom and party with drinking kids after wards. No you cannot miss church for a movie. No you cannot go to your boyfriends’ home without adults around. No you cannot break the rules and guidelines of the church. So you think you cannot say no. You can say no when you want to. You can be strong about what you decide to .

Marisa and Uncle David Trammell and Aunt Rebecca

Our Family has had a rough road too, but something made us Love yet fight for our kids to be not so involved with the World that they decided they would rather do that. The Devils job is to see who will just give in and then he has one more on his team. Love, Tenderness and standing strong and true to God and following our wonderful leadership will keep our Families Safe and we will have less losses.

I Tried To Raise My Kids Without Being Harsh

I Tried To Raise My Kids Without Being Harsh

As my husband and I sat at Red Lobster last night with friends waiting on our meal, I over heard a father at the next table talking to his child. It seemed to be a birthday meal for the teenager and the family was dining out for that. There was about a five year old little brother and he squirmed and wiggled and didn’t eat very well and was distracted.

The father was very irritated across from the boys and he began to scold. The birthday boy seemed embarrassed and withdrawn. I saw no sparkle in his eye; except he was enjoying the food he was eating. No conversation of worth, not even any good small talk and certainly the five year old was bored to the hilt. The father told the child to eat, he cuddled against his brother and smiled at his dad, and then he was told ok do you want time out when you get home?

The teenager looked like he would like to be anywhere but there right then and he smiled down at his little brother. The mom sat there trying to eat as the dad focused on every little action that irritated him. I thought stuff like this happens to the best of us, but I love to avoid messing up a nice occasion with irrational uncontrolled tension.

How often do we destroy good occasions with no moderation of handling our way of handling things? We could still get a good atmosphere by just keeping our own actions to irritations at a moderate minimum and still be in charge with a good out-come. I really don’t enjoy witnessing these things even though I have gone through it myself. I watched as the family filed out and the family left and I still was worried about the style of home they might have and how bmuch the kids love being there. (I am in no way implying that that our family is the best conversationalists, but let the record show I believe it is important to work at it.)

With all that still in my mind I am writing today about what I have been  involved with the most in my life. Babies and Teenagers have made me want to be a social worker, I have wanted to run a orphanage and adopt, and I have kept other kids in my home for a while and made bedrooms in the church next door to the parsonage so I could do what I could to help out. It is my passion, and I might have made mistakes with my own children, and I could tell you where and when and have still been learning what works and doesn’t without being ashamed that I don’t know it all, but I want the best out of whatever happens and needs to be handled. We are not going to get through life without many troublesome worries and situations that come our way from within our own homes. How we teach and how we ourselves learn equals the out-come of both love and closeness or distant and estranged.

So, you really do want a perfectly well behaved child or teenager that is happy, making good grades, full of zeal like you were, and so easy to live with. I hope some day to have an answer that will help other parents through easily.

What I am really trying to say is this is something we as parents all have to deal with.  I don’t have all the answers even though I have always had such a desire to know what kind of techniques of training work best. I do know what doesn’t work in a small way because I have raised five and tried to do it with a little dignity left for both my kids and me.

I am now watching my grandchildren grow up. Now our own kids are having the joy of raising their own children, and my grandchildren. I have been very proud of how they love their children and delight in them. If I don’t agree with something I try to sneak up on my kids blind side and tell them. Our parents sure didn’t stay completely out of our business in raising our children and I somehow felt like our mom’s knew a better way at times and I listened and asked.  I know it sounds like I am trying to mother the whole world, but well that is just me.

I will say this much, I had to learn to care and be sure that I wasn’t too hasty to measure out quick disciplines and not think them out first, as to how they really would remedy or affect the problem at hand. Love and kind moderate treatment works best in most situations to correct and still keep a tender willingness to repent and go on without bitterness and misunderstanding.

Going overboard seems to only drive the problems or aggravations deeper into the skin of the kid. If you always seem to go for the harshest words or longest groundings it doesn’t produce the tender feelings inside the heart and mind that you might hope it would.  I have seen this over and over and had to correct myself before. They made me disturbed, and I was going to punish them. Not just because it was all that important for them growing up nice, but I got irritated and they were going to pay.

So, I will take a church function away from them and keep them away from other church young people and they will learn.  Most of your nit picking problems with young people is just nice chances for you to just warn and teach in a moderate kind way how to act and what is acceptable or not acceptable. Every problem doesn’t need to be major creating quietly angry feelings growing inside. Herein, lies the problem you want them to learn and grow and become a good citizen and be able to mingle with people and feel confidence and a part of the church and your family.

We have to show love to get the right outcome of a major problem.  Discipline without a sign of love and concern will set things up for more deep-rooted problems. That is why communication and calmer ways of talking out problems works better for opening up and getting through with more understanding and repentance and forgiveness from the heart. This way you both can get through in good shape. God is not as mean as we are. I don’t feel I have a right to treat people worse than God does. He loves always and forgives and gives us hope.  One time my husband made a quick ruling to our children. Soon after he came to me and felt it was too strong. He was feeling so bad and wondered what he could do to retract that and the kids not lose respect for him. What came to his mind was they would respect you more and feel like you love them more even if you agree you made a mistake in your judgment. He called a family meeting and sat them all down and with tears he apologized for making a ruling that was so hurtful to them and ask their forgiveness. He withdrew that restriction. There were lots of tears and all the kids hugged their daddy and said thank you and I love you. As parents we learned an important lesson that day about over reacting in discipline. There have been no problems of respect because of that from our children I felt the respect increases.

The hardest cases in the world of kids to work with are the ones that have been treated harsh from a baby on. Some folks seem to resent their little ones from the start and all the work they are. I have had many a frustrating moment with my own when they didn’t seem to want to sleep or had a crying jag going and I have tried a few tricks to see if it all would go away and leave me alone. After a little of that I would have to tell myself this is a baby and I need to govern my own ideas and not make this a pattern that will stay too long. Sometimes we nourish and make passing actions permanent and speak it into existence because we take it all too hard. Some things are just a baby and some babies are more fussy than others and when they grow up they are just as wonderful as the quiet easy baby.

Some teenagers have a harder time as they enter their teens and I see parents say wrong things to slow down the process and walls go up . I tried to put myself in their shoes and think when things weren’t just right what would help me want to do better.  You can force a child to pray, you can force a child to say I am sorry, you can force a child to give up what he likes and enjoys most, you can stay irritated and see if that works,  but what has made hard uncomfortable times go away quicker is when we could find a reason to smile again together and laugh even about silly things.

Once when life seemed tense and not real fun I was looking for answers to have more fun at home. I went to the Family Book Store and my eyes fell on the book, “Laugh With Your Teenager.” I thought that is just what I want so I will buy this and find out how you do this.  I don’t remember reading it all but the title has stuck with me and I have tried to find reasons to laugh more than grouch. My mom and dad used to find down to earth things like life to laugh about and that all came back to my mind.  How fun it was to laugh and I even realize in sad times one of the most healing things is to be able to laugh no matter how silly it seems to others.  I love to be around family when it is easy to laugh. Many a tense moment has been relaxed and all tension has left with a smile. Laughter lightens the crunch of life .  There are plenty of times to be serious , and we could use laughter even when we are serious. I have been blessed to be in a family that enjoyed so many smiles and doesn’t mind saying sweet nothings, or complimenting good things or beauty. We can express it in words and deeds, but smiles and laughs are simple and easy and what a blessing through it all to even out everything.

Sometimes when our kids disappoint us with their actions we could either worry more about how we look or feel or we can think of the most important one we have in our possession our child. Mom used to say do  as much of your correcting in private and without harsh action as you can.  No one likes to witness a bad acting child, but don’t become the child out of control by losing control yourself. However you handle your children could determine how you see your kids handle theirs. Grandparents suffer because they didn’t treat their children with tenderness so their children don’t treat their children better.

The thing that means so much to me now that I am older is those visits with my family. I thank the Lord that Mom taught me to remember that what means most when you grow old is the close connection from your children. I always want them to want to come back home, and think I was mostly a loving mom and enjoyed all of them I could when they were young.  I want the good days to out way the bad days. Be unafraid when you make a mistake or go farther than you meant to to say I am sorry, I Love You and I want you to be safe and stay close to me.