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The Responsibility of the Preacher’s Wife To Her Husband, Her Children and Her Home!!

APOSTOLIC SHEPHERDS’ CAMP

Michigan District 1981

 THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PREACHER’S WIFE TO HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN AND HER HOME.

 HUSBAND;

Shares in his calling

A. Affects the way she lives, how and where.

B. How much money she will have.

C. What she thinks about a great deal of the time.

D. What she and her husband will talk of most frequently.

E. How she is looked on in the Community.

 Attitude:

A. Supportive–Prov. 14:1 says, “Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish, plucketh it down with her hands.”

B Not Competitive

She works with her husband and not against him.She does not try to appear more intelligent or competent than her husband.

C. She is interested in Saving Souls and every phase of her minister husband’s ministry.

 Loyal

A. A loyal wife does not discuss her husband’s faults with others.

B. She does not contradict her husband in public. If the matter is of utmost importance, she should very courteously tell him or draw him aside.

C. She keeps her private life Private.

 Romantic

A. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Live Joyfully with the wife whom thou Lovest all the days of the Life of thy vanity, which he has given thee under the sun, all the days of vanity, for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

B. Marriage should not be just a working partnership but should have Romance in it too.

C. Times of togetherness in things like lunches, where talk is of your private feelings and not church problems. Husband should be attentive to wife’s need in her household problems. Much Resentment and lack of romance stems from the Man’s lack of concern in the things that are of great importance to the

D. Wife should respond with tenderness and pleasure to compliments given by husband and she will be the recipient of many throughout the marriage.

E. Learn to compliment your husband on attributes you appreciate in him.

Don’t let little kindnesses go unnoticed.

F. Build him up sincerely.

G. Try to say the Right Thing at the Right Time.

Prov. 25:11 Says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

 CHILDREN

 Love

A.  A Child should be Wanted.

B.  A child is not born loving you. You teach him to love you by showing your love to him. He responds to your treatment.

C.  A child must have physical expression of love. He needs to be held and kissed. An older child needs to feel your love expressed by an embrace.

D. Don’t try to make a little one grow up too fast by taking his bottle away too early or saying that he is a big boy or big girl now and doesn’t need it. Don’t let other people pressure you in matters pertaining to your child. Usually a child will throw the bottle away when he is through with it.

When there is a new baby, a little child will want to play like he is a baby too. Don’t shame him but play along with him let him choose baby food even take a bottle. He will soon get tired of it and want to resume the stage of maturity he has reached.

 Security

A. Mother and Dad’s relationship is the big factor in this. If Mother and Dad love each other their love reaches the child and he is not frightened of his place.

B. He feels the pleasure he is bringing them.

 Discipline

A. Teach him to be honest by your honesty in example.

B. Teach him respect for Authority, Yours, the Preachers, the Law, the Teachers at Sunday School and Public or Church School.

C. Don’t undermine fathers’ authority. Differences should be reasoned out of children’s’ hearing.

D. Correction should be just that. Don’t take your frustrations out on your children and call that correction. They know the difference.

 Time

A. One of the greatest gifts you can give a child is your time. You as mother cannot tend to church affairs and neglect your children. The Bible says in Prov. 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, BUT A CHILD LEFT TO HIMSELF BRINGETH HIS MOTHER TO SHAME.”

 B.  You may not get to go every time you want to with  little ones but they should have first priority, Mothers presence in the home is vital. She cannot give them attention completely at all times, but the quantity of time is all-important.

QUALITY does not mean sitting down visiting them then taking off.  Quality is teaching them important truths, which you must have, time to teach.  You cannot make up for being gone hours and days and leaving them with sitters by coming in and out with gifts and fun times.

 C.  Listen to your child and give him privacy to ponder his thoughts. When he expresses himself you can guide his thinking.

 Good Memories

 A.  Set yourself to give your children good memories.  Don’t let them happen by accident.  Plan Birthday parties; plan activities for them to look forward to. Happy Children are usually Good Children.

Let them look forward to Christmas. Don’t emphasize material things but try to teach them to get pleasure from simple household objects.  Children have great imaginations and do not need many material things to play with.

 B.  Good food, good cooking odors in the home, relation visiting, playing with cousins.

 C.  Prayers from Dad and Mother when they are sick. Prayers and kisses for hurt fingers.

 D.  The knowledge that their parents are real Christians at home. That they believe the truth of the Bible and practice holiness.

 Home

 A.  Home is a gathering place for the Family. Here they are fed, sleep, taught what they need to know to prepare them for Life. They are taken care of and protected until they can care for themselves.

 B.  The Right Environment at home contributes more to a child’s Character and Personality than any thing else.

 C.  Children should not be ashamed of where they live. The home should be clean, with a neat yard and clean beds. They should not be afraid to bring Company into the house.

 D.  A Good home does not mean a new or pretentious home. A Good home has a Good Feeling in it. The Preacher’s wife has to entertain a lot and need not worry about beautiful furnishings if people can feel relaxed in her home.

 Laughter

 A.  The Home should have laughter and the children should feel that it is Great to Live for God.

 Hospitality

 A. Hospitality is a part of the life of a minister and his family.  Children should be taught to greet guest and welcome them to the home by their actions.

 B.  If possible a home should always have a Guest Room so the family does not have to shunt to other parts of the house to make room. A guest does not like to feel that he has taken someone ‘s room.

 Authority

 A.  Often a mother destroys the Authority of the Father in the home by making all the decisions concerning the children.

 B.  Father should be consulted on all-important decisions.

 C.  If Father is gone from the house and a need for correcting child comes up, she should take care of it and not leave it for Father when he comes home.  She undermines her own authority.  If Father is correcting, she should hold her peace. If any has a difference as to the need for the correction, it should be discussed in private.

 Meals

 A.  Children should be fed properly and at the same time. The dinner meal is usually the time when everyone is home. It should be a relaxed time with no battles fought, or church problems discussed.

 There should be no preachers children lost because home seemed to be a place of tenseness, work, worrying about those who made trouble in the church.  They must be made to see the excitement and privilege of being in a preacher’s home.

 YOU ALONE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT.

 Sis. June Starr

 

 

 

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Happy Fathers Day To a Wonderful Father

Happy Fathers Day Honey

I am one of those girls that dreamed to getting married by 18 years old and having a dozen children. I did just that almost except the number of children ended up being five instead of a dozen.

Maybe that was a girls mind I had but, I was so blessed with finding the man of my dreams. He has been strong and tender all at the same time. We had four boys, Anthony, Bryan, MartynII, Andrew and one daughter, Marisa Hartzell.  The Ballestero name will go on in the Pentecostal Way.

I just have to say, Honey, You have been a strength of Stability Spiritually, strength because of the honorable way you have conducted yourself as a husband, father, Pastor, and now Evangelist, Son, Brother, Uncle. Thank you for always being so generous to our children and me with your time, love, patients, and you have helped guide the children to stay true to Jesus, his standards of living and conduct, and keep much love through it all.

I am the blessed one. This week I went to the hospital for a stone removal and now four days later I am home. I ended up with a Ventilator, and I thank the Lord you were right there.  I had the best nurse in my room all those long hours as I looked at the ceiling unable to talk. I was tied to the bed so I wouldn’t wake up and pull the ventilator out by mistake.  It felt like a brush with death unable to speak or move but somehow I relaxed and even though there was fear and tears when I could not speak I felt calm and loved.  I want to thank You for the kind of husband, and Daddy you have been. You show love and you are a builder of lives. When kids have difficulty and you could have felt angry and disturbed you have not been harsh only you had a way of tenderly reaching and holding and doing all you could to help things get better. It is no wonder you are so loved by your kids.  Thank You for being stable, sweet, loving and kind everyone doesn’t have the nice deals we have been blessed with. I Love You

Recipe of Marcia’s Gumbo

Marcia’s Gumbo Recipe

Whole Chicken or  2 lb or more of Frozen chicken breast tenders

Boiled in seasoned water with some chicken boulion and some Creole Louisiana seasoning of Tony Chachere’s then remove chicken and either debone or cut up tenders and set aside.

1 lb Eckrich Skinless Smoked Sausage

Sliced in one inch pieces or however you want to slice it.

1 chopped bell pepper

2 stalks of chopped celery

1 box of frozen sliced okra

1 bunch of green onion diced

1 stick of margarine or olive oil in skillet for sauté of vegetables and  cut up sausage.

White or brown rice

Rice after cooked is not included in pot of Gumbo.

We do rice separate. When ready to eat we put some rice in the bowl then pour the gumbo over the top and eat.

Now when you take the chicken out to debone and cut than in the large pot of soup broth you have you add your Roux and stir until mixed and no clumps unmixed with broth.

Roux can be made or bought and mixed in. I will tell you how to make that.

Roux

This is the stuff that makes it Gumbo to me. You can either buy it in Louisiana, Texas area it can come in the Jar ready made and a half jar or less added to your Broth will give it a dark soup base or there is a Powdered Roux by Zatarines that you add to soup base.

To make it homemade use Olive Oil or margarine a stick in skillet put ½ cup or more of flour and stir constantly and let it brown to a dark or golden brown. Add this to broth carefully so you don’t splatter and get burnt.

Now add sautéed vegetables, chicken and sausage to broth and let cook on low to medium heat .  Ready to eat.

Optional boil eggs a egg for each person or more. Than peel the eggs and save a couple for potatoe salad. Put the rest in the pot of gumbo. When folks get gumbo they can get a egg in their bowl of gumbo and eat it and potatoe salad along with gumbo.

My family likes it this way. You will get a taste how you like it as you go.

Potatoe Salad I boil chopped potatoes until firm but done. Then I drain and hand mash a little added a dab of onion, dab of dill relish, chopped boiled egg , a dab of Tony seasoning, and light mayonnaise and mix. Fix your bowl of Gumbo than put a spoon of potatoe salad at the side of the bowl also try a boiled egg along with that. Keep Tony Chachere’s on the table we eat it with everything.

I season what I cook but I try to never over season and it folks want it more heavily seasoned they can do it themselves. Same with File that folks add to Gumbo. I rarely add that but it is on the table for whoever wants it.

Now I know this seems lengthy but I have looked at Recipes and they list it but the way I said do it in long terms becomes easy but I didn’t want to be so brief and you be full of questions and not get the real gumbo taste.

In Gumbo most ingredients can be optional except Roux, Chicken and Sausage. If you don’t want celery or Okra fine but the rest are needed for it to be gumbo. This is the way we like it .

Roux can be bought either dry or jar by Savoy or Zatariens brand.  Or make your own when you make the Gumbo and you may like that better. Check online for those brands too.  Good Luck.

One Generation Will Commend Your Works to Another

Me and some of my wonderful grands!!

One Generation will commend your works to another.  They will tell of your mighty acts.

My memories of growing up in a Pastors Home were very warm to me.  I realized how peaceful and exciting our home was at a young age.  Being the oldest I got to help out with four younger sisters.

Mom shared with us her heritage and how her daddy was won to the Lord.   That made a huge impact on my thinking and believing of how real God was.   And how Daddy’s family came to the Lord.

I remember hearing those stories and how important it was to hear them even as a child I would feel faith build in me for others to come to the Lord.

When you had Jesus in your life that was the greatest life.  How sad we would feel for those that turned away or rejected God.

If it is good for you we can do it.  If not we are blessed that God protects us by us not being a part of something not good.   Passing on this from Generation to Generation is a Godly skill I will forever be grateful for.

Me, Jeron and Kalyx

Church was the center of our lives.   It was not a painful, unhappy experience for our family.  There were many times situations had to be handled but the cushion of love and believing in the power of the Holy Ghost and what Miracles that God can do was instilled in our minds.

Nothing Good is impossible with God.

I have five children now of which some are here today.  God has blessed us for our children to marry others that are strong in the Faith.  We now have 12 Grandchildren 14 yrs old and younger.  Nine are baptized and have received the Holy Ghost.

We know in life that raising a family in this world we need to lean on God.  We want our children to keep loving this message and then our grandchildren and on and on.

We have had a Mother that made our home a haven.   And although she helped so many others she never neglected us.  She was a mom that was there and she was loving, Godly, and unwavering in pleasing the Lord.

I want to publicly thank my Mother and call her blessed.

Three of our sons, Anthony,R, Bryan , Marty Joe , L

For being a Godly roll model.    In my eyes she was the Perfect Mother.    She guided me in my life by not only her words but her Example.   She was consistent.   We could count on her reaction to be right and that put stability in our lives.  She was a strong Pastor’s wife, a Loving Mother and a wonderful wife to our dad.

We learned to respect our dad also. We got to know that he was the main man in our world until we married. Mom taught us to be thankful because our dad worked hard everyday to support us and provide comfortable living for us.  He was so genuine in loving this one God message of living a clean Godly life separated from the world style. We were taught to still look pretty and feel clean inside and have a good time doing it.

We had fun at home and hard times came and went and we were still going on living the easy way for the Lord and under the protection of our parents. They looked out for us and yet let us be individuals and have friends . Mom knew friends mean so much to kids they really don’t do well when they feel they can have no friends. Mom taught us how to be a friend to many too. There are favorites but I wasn’t encouraged to get stuck on having one friend at a time and controlling them or letting them control me. We had fun and learned manners.

Jeremy, Hayley,Jeron, Marty

My sisters and I had sibling rivalry but and we probably hit a few times and said some harsh words , but mom allowed it to happen but not go too far. She would say that someday you will be so thankful for each other and you will love being together. I am so glad she handled us in that manner. She did not turn on any one child unless she really knew who was causing the problem.

She was a soother and I was the oldest and she respected my wishes to not have intrusion into my stuff and have to feel angry that she would not protect me from the frustration of being older and having a little privacy when I seemed to need it.

How I was raised worked so well for my happiness and so it was a pattern for my raising of my own. I was taught that certain privileges were given with age as you grew. I had to try my own wings and I always felt like they would forgive me if I made a mistake like Jesus would. I felt like it wasn’t always easy to grow up and understand every thing and they didn’t put more on me than I could bear or stand. It was a livable non-bitter way of life.

Andy our youngest and Dad

I did not have to anger and seethe inside my mind at mom and dad they cared about whether I felt well . Even when I had to have guidance it was not cruel over bearing. There fore when their grandchildren came along they did not have to see or feel heartache at how their precious grandchildren were raised. There was a bit of joy and peace that I would do as good as I could and would love and cherish my children.

Our Family 2010 All are filled with the Holy Ghost except the three youngest.

My Wonderful Other Mother Content Faith Ballestero

Chrisytana Content Named after Great Grandma Content Faith Ballestero

My Wonderful Other Mom Content Faith Ballestero

Today is a day of giving honor to Mothers. I think of my Mothers everyday of my world. I can get mighty touched at just the thought of the Mothers of my life.

When I came into the Ballestero Family I was barely 18 years old. I wasn’t ready to leave my own mom and yet I thought I was. Mom had trained me well up to the 18-year-old mark. I want to insert this right here. I learned before I got married that if I wanted a good relationship with my husbands mother than I could have it. I was blessed to get into a family that loved me and I thought they cherished me right from the beginning. I still feel cherished and I cherish Mom Ballestero.

She was a very out going take charge mom and she was very expressive and she would hug you in spite of whether you knew how to hug or not. She was kind and compassionate. She was very much in charge of having a good time and cooking big and she was the life of the party. She also seemed to read right into your eyes if you were not doing well and she would not turn her head. She would get to the bottom of it and pray with you and show so much love and affection you would feel better.

Great Grandma and Carlton Alexander Ballestero

Mom Ballestero

Mom Ballestero came from a family of eight children and she would share stories with me of most every Sunday their family would have a big family dinner and they invited their friends and bring folks home with them and they were caring Hospitable family of Gleason’s Mom was a worshiper with all of her heart. She didn’t whisper her prayers like me she prayed with fervor to the top of her voice. You just knew God answered her prayers. And today it has affected the family strong. All of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are serving God.

Mom I remember through the years all the sweet loving way you treated me . I felt like you loved me. I married your son, but knew you would get after him if you didn’t like something he did or said to me. The great thing was you didn’t have to and I have been blessed with a fun, loving Mother in Law which I hate the mother in law jokes and it is all junk to me. I have to say you were so giving, and you loved all us kids and even made favorite deserts that we loved . The food was scrumptious and you loved to cook and serve it was a happy time. You Never acted like it was a bother. It seemed to be a delight to you.

What a good Mom you were, but when the Grand babies were born you came and stayed two weeks after my momma went home and did all the cooking and house cleaning and baby caring. The homemade chicken and noodles and roast and mashed potatoes and desserts you would go all out. I was skinny when I married and I think I got on the wrong track for my body way back because you would make desserts and I would not have a taste for them. You would say oh honey try it I made it just for you. The rest of you stayed trim enough through all that but I learned just how good home made pies and cakes were not to leave out cookie bars and brownies, and home made fresh peach ice cream. It gave me a different out look on dessert.

You were far better than any hospital care.  When you came you were so good at babies and would take their bassinet into your room so we could sleep. You would take care of baby and even wrap it tight and turn it from side to side to see if it would sleep longer. Pretty soon you would bring baby to the door all wrapped tight and say softly baby is hungry. What a Mom.

Mom had a way with animals. She found this bird walking down the side walk.

What a Woman you are. I found out early in marriage how brave you are. You loved to hunt and you would tramp out into the woods with Dad Ballestero and Marty and you would go the opposite direction and sit on the stand and wait and kill what you were after. Now I tried to go one time and went back to the trailer and crawled under the covers and waited scared until you all returned. I just knew any minute a bullet would zing through the trailer and hit me. I was not used to a gun of any kind. Well I did get used to having guns safely put away in the house but not for my use.  I was proud of you when your name was draw one out of ten to get to hunt Buffalo and you did get one. You made a rug out of the hide, A lamp out of the Leg and hoof, and had the head mounted. For many years somehow I allowed that big head to be above my organ at my house in South Bend, Indiana. My own Grandma Starr wanted to play the organ but could not she couldn’t stand to play and look at the Buffalo’s head and eyes starring at her.

You were so good with animals as I was saying. I remember the Mynah bird and how well it talked…too well. Then Fee Fee the little white poodle , then dad brought a monkey home from Ohio from a children zoo. I love watching monkeys at the zoo but this one decided to bite your hand and you still cared for it. It was pretty nice other wise but that tail wrapped around my ankle and I stood still but almost came unglued before it unwrapped it’s tail. One day it came screaming at me and Marty stopped it you had a nice size cage built for it in the basement like the zoo with a little seat it could climb up and sit on. Then just a few years ago before you went to live with Nila you were living in a house in Fontana, Ca and when we came there were white rabbits, many white rabbits that were wild sleeping all around the house under bushes they found a way under your house to live. You fed them and watered them daily. There were families of them you never picked them up you had their confidence enough for them to run to the dish and wait for feedings and you talked to them. Never picking them up but they were hooked on your charm and voice and the food won them.  There were baby rabbits all over.  You had bird feeders all around and Uncle Stan came to live with you a while and he was almost ninety and he would go to the store and buy bird feeders and bird seeds by the huge bags. You would shake your head like why does he do that. I wondered if you two realized how much alike you were with animals and enjoying the birds coming by your windows to eat and the rabbits acting like dogs in the yard running around living there with confidence.

Someone said something nice to her or gave her a sweet card.

Mom and her wild rabbits that started living in her yard.

The rabbits were brave enough to come close for food.

Recent picture of Mom, Marty, Nila and Eric.

I Love the Man you raised for me to have for a husband. Wow!! He is still mannerly and seems to enjoy being that way. He Loves God and He loves the One God Apostolic Message unwavering. He Loves our children and has been a Rock to our family. He is a wonderful writer, preacher and father and I know he loves you so much. That is wonderful because he learned from you how to be kind, and considerate of me. I Love you Mom Ballestero and I hope and believe someone will read this to you.

My Mother Marian June (Starr) Davis

Mom and Me

My Mother Marian June (Starr) Davis

My Mother has been a wonderful Mom to me. She has been a mom with high calm standards of conduct no matter what the situation. I have never seen her act in a embarrassing manner anytime. She has been dedicated to raising five girls and her manner of conduct was easy to follow. She was not a harsh mom she could be firm and show her strength in such a lady like manner.

I have tried to walk in her footsteps as a mom her steps were fun, loving and tender. She was a teacher without being a bossy and  loud . If I did wrong I was never afraid to go ahead and tell her. I want her to know what I was doing and I desired her approval. I was taught in a open, kind way with a feeling of secure expectation that I would be ok and do ok no matter what.

Grandpa and Grandma Davis and Jeron at camp

I learned to love being a mother because she seemed to love being a mother. She never worried about spoiling a baby by holding it too much. She would not leave a baby crying in a room by itself with a closed door. She would cuddle and talk softly as she searched for the problem.

This has been all of my life that this care has happened. When things got tough she has not belittled me while I was growing up to this very day. She would be the buffer between me and hurts. She is still strength to me and when hard times come and low moments I have thoughts of mom and how she would care and do whatever she could to help me feel better.

Mom at the Organ

I can honestly say that sassy has never been from me. I might have not agreed with the verdict or the answer I was given, but I don’t remember ever being harsh with mom. I know most every child reaches around twelve and is full of themselves and being at a awkward hard stage usually if they will be sassy it is then for a bit, but somehow I just want to say I am a wimp when it comes to mom. I still feel like a child and always will. I am the oldest and firstborn maybe that is why. I just feel like mom does it all right. I still want to be like her even if I disagree it will pass.

Mom has a class about her that when she walks into a room she is noticed for her style and beauty. She has a good name among all that know her. Young men and women love her counsel and I have witnessed more than her own girls that have gained much wisdom for life from mom. If it is going rough for you and you are struggling to handle mom always seems to have the calmest best advice of how to handle tough situations and come out better in the end.

Mom and Daddy

Mom I love the secure, steady, calm, caring, wise way you have handled my life when you had me. That still goes on and I am over sixty now and you are over 80 and I feel the warmth of your care still helping me take care of relationships from being a mother, wife, sister, aunt, pastor’s wife, now evangelist wife, grandma and friend.

You still speak to me if I need it and I will listen and honor your advice because you have never been a loose cannon you are tender yet a straight arrow to good advice.

How could I hurt myself and others in a no care way when I have a mom like you that has been a Rock, and with tender yet firm about what is right and what will work for the best. You have made good choices in life and handled your life in a level God-fearing fashion.

Mom, Dad, Me and Alexa

Thank You for teaching me with your example how to treat my husband and my children with affection, words of affirmation, protecting them from all I could. How to never turn my head and close doors and ignore in tough times. Love and believe for the best and never belittle and rage in disappointment. You taught me how to Mother with kisses and hugs and smiles and laughter. You taught me how to serve and love first my own family and protect them and then how to serve and love others.

You have been mom to many more than just us five girls. You have been the best advice giver, you have showed some mothering to those that lacked it and to this day they still call you mom .

I Love your music, the piano and organ playing is so lovely and full chords that make you want to sing and listen long to. I still remember dad-standing smiling at you playing songs that he loved so well. He thought you could play like no other and so did I. You could figure out the key from back in the audience when some one was traveling around to find it. Dad sang in 5 and 6 # and somehow you just went to where he was fast.

Mom and Me

Just want to say I Love the Good Home you created for the 18 years I was there. And I always love to come home and couldn’t bear not to come home ever again I just loved being around you.

Love, Marcia June(Starr)Ballestero

Showing Affection and Tenderness

Showing Affection and Tenderness

Garrison and Grandma B

I grew up with affection and it didn’t stop when I was no longer a baby. All five of us were hugged, kissed, smiled at often, and we were cuddled much as babies. As we grew up I began to realize that everyone doesn’t do that as much as we do. I seen stoic, ill at ease folks that yes I believed they still loved and cared, but to physically or vocally be affectionate was such a hard thing for them.

Then I have seen those that were raised without affection that craved it so much they gave in to good judgment on their own part and over came the scare of outwardly showing of affection. They realized it was a missing ingredient in their lives and it would be awkward all their lives if they did not began to express and share the love and care they felt inside.

We have heard of test they have done on babies to see how they developed and grew for a span of time without being talked to in a smiling loving way, or cuddled and played with. They just made sure they had everything done  for them like fed them, changed them, but no affection or words of love. The babies that we cuddled and talked to grew and thrived and responded to the love they were shown. The ones that merely were taken care of without the nourishment of love and attention or touching failed to thrive.

Chloe and Marty(daddy) sweet times.

I have seen young men and women somehow fall in love and marry only to cease showing outward affection with words and tenderness. You wonder why or how did they even get together. They just exist and survive without a spark or look of happiness. They go about their duties of life and life seems like it is dull and there is a lack of luster or fun just no kind of expression of the magic of love. Even the family they raise carry on the same way of life and the part of life that should be there that makes the home and family a place that everyone likes to be it is just not there.

I am blessed to have been cuddled and to hear words of love and tenderness.

When life seemed to be rough words of encouragement came through and put the courage and sparked the fire of a fresh start again and once again I could go on. Many times we may feel awkward and needy when inside we feel like we want to be cherished and smiled at. We just were all made to be cherished and cuddled and loved. We live in a world that has many mentally sick people in it that can make you very cautious and careful and purity is important. But my heart goes out to those that crave tenderness and hugs. There is no one that can fill the emptiness like Jesus. God is the answer to those that have made bad choices of mates and have felt a longing to be really cared for but seem to keep trying to live the best way they can with someone that refuses to be affectionate and tender. Children are damaged in that area of their life when they grow up without being hugged, talk to with a tender way. Along with correction and discipline  is the balance of love that makes a kid want to do better and helps them grow into a mature wholesome person.

Ainsley and Papa Ballestero

Purity is so important and it gives much magic to new relationships. It makes you notice the wholesome clean types of relationships that leave you feeling good inside. When I think of the Fruits of The Spirit in our lives working as they should I think how balanced and caring we can be no matter whether we were brought up with tenderness or wholesomeness we all lack so much without it. We can have it. It is self destruction to refuse to be healed and changed for the benefit of our loved ones and those we need to take care of.

God will heal and give us fresh starts in areas that we need to make a change and be forgiven. We can love and be loved in a world that has distorted what love is and God can heal damaged lives and make them a new.

When you are raising a family how much easier it is to learn in school when you have tender love and care. If a child has struggles in school work and you are a perfectionist about schoolwork putting strong pressure without being thoughtful and helping in a gentle way makes learning harder. A mixture of tenderness and firm discipline is much more successful in the long run than just steady harsh discipline without the oil of love to keep it working properly.

You might be trying to make sure that a child does everything right and be about as messed up yourself and you have no give for the child and yet their example of you is a hard one to follow. You are breaking rules , and talking ways you don’t want them to talk, yet you insist on being unmerciful to them for kid stuff and kid mistakes. There is nothing that works to make a child end up with less scars and more balanced than the mixture of affection, love, words of affirmation, and discipline.

I looked at a young lady that I love very much and was surprised that I said what I said to her. It was hard to say it but I wanted to say it because I noticed she was treating one child that was  not hers yet with very little kindness in words. The child was a needy child she said. She was going to help fix this little girl and make her better. The child was not wild she told me she was a four year old but really a seven or eight year old. I saw her focus in on her and not be too bothered about the other two children who were in her care. She is about to marry this little girls father. I noticed her consistent focus of discipline on this one. I said , “Be a good tender mom, don’t be a step mom.” Something about that word Step has a sting to many a child that ended up being mistreated.

Grandma Ballestero and Kalyx

I know that your very own mom and dad can be not tender and affectionate. There is just a extra sting along with the regular sting that comes when you see a step parent be harsh and not kind and giving to a child. The children have to take the blows of life that come their way and have not way of fighting back. If they get put to bed while the other kids stay up and eat cake they just grow up warped in that area empty inside and longing for the dream momma or daddy they never had that would cherish and hug them.

Don’t let it be awkward to be affectionate with your family with words and hugs. It is the oil that keeps things still turning and working when the hard times come. It can give hope to the hopeless and keeps things going in the right direction. If you learn to be affectionate and some do need to learn to not forget they may not feel like affection and it might not be easy at first to say those words of affirmation but who you live with may need them to make it through life without be empty and twisted.

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