Gum Chewing Saints!

Gum Chewing Saints!!

Bryan blowing bubbles Marisa liking that

I wish I could say this was teenagers I see chewing gum with the gusto of a hound dog all over the church. I have been amazed. I have tried to not even to be bothered by it, but they chew so big  I feel bad for the Preacher trying to preach. It looks so ill mannered and I feel like saying spit it out, show respect.

I remember seeing kids ask to spit gum out in school. You just didn’t chew gum in school and if you insisted to keep trying to you would get your name on the board. And if you kept it up you would get to stay after school.  Chewing gum seem to mean to them you weren’t paying attention. I don’t think I would even notice if there weren’t so many chewing and chewing without being modest about it. Hope you don’t smack up on food that big I am sure you would annoy your eating buddies.

In our lives we don’t want to cramp our style about much of anything or any rule. I like gum because it freshens my breath and maybe serves to occupy me as I drive.  I do like gum. I guess I been one of the lucky ones to be alerted where to chew gum and where not. My husband is an Evangelist and has been Pastor many years and gum chewers always stand out and are noticed. When they tarry for the Holy Ghost you sure hope they spit their gum out and many haven’t and I have not seen then get far until someone would hold a Kleenex out for them to spit their gum out, so they could concentrate on praying.

I can understand feeding a baby or a small child. I been in church so much with my children I have gotten through many services with keeping them quiet that way. I can understand a mint, I guess with gum the chewing and big chewing just goes on and on and on and most the time I see a disinterested look along with it.

Just something that during church is very noticeable. Preachers have just been made to get used to seeing it now, it is just normal. I just have to accept and turn my eyes and forget another rule that seemed like it really didn’t matter.

Say Your Sorry!!

Andy and daddy having tender fun moments!

How many times growing up has this phrase been said to us? I have used that phrase with my own children. I have ask them to say they were sorry to others when they were small. I have thought about whether I made them lie because I could see it in their face that they said it to keep out of trouble with me. They were not genuinely sorry, they were being made to say that whether they were sorry or not.

I realized through out my living around people that some have never yet got the message about the need to say, “ I am so sorry”. It might embarrass you to admit that you hurt someone needlessly or were too harsh for the situation. I would rather admit my blunder and repent than to have too much pride to refresh my tenderness and wipe my record clean showing I have needlessly said or done this and it has hurt you, “I am sorry, that was so wrong of me, I should not have gone this far with my actions or words.”

There are some folks that can’t seem to say the simple words I am sorry, but they will feel bad and buy you a gift. Others may just change their ways towards you and be nice and expect that to work and it does , but there isn’t any method that works better to bring about peace and wipe the heart clean again like just out loud saying “I am sorry” and meaning it from the heart.

In a marriage nothing fixes situations when they go wrong like saying you are sorry for what you did that hurt . You know when you are the problem and most the time everyone else concerned does too. Respect is lost quicker and more when you refuse to repent for whatever your part was in the upset.

If you really want to correct your mistake and be respected again those words will be the biggest and best chance to start over new. The benefits are great.

If you think you lose respect or you feel to big to say your sorry you have just took steps backwards instead of forward. It makes you more careful when you repent to not do that again. If you make another mistake well repentance still works and it shows that there is Fruits of the Spirit working in your life. Love, Joy returns, Peace comes back, longsuffering because you needed it, Gentleness returns, Meekness instead of arrogance, Goodness! Faith! And Temperance!

It might feel dreadful to have to humble yourself and say your sorry, but it is worth the healing of hearts to just say I am sorry.

I have witnessed people talking mean about others and what you say gets around. Hearts have been wounded and disrespect has been planted with a big seed of doubt. You publicly state your opinion and feel like you have a right to say what is true then you assassinate someone else’s character never even a drop of fear while you do that. Your tender side is losing it tenderness and you feed on the faults of others and it begins to be what your mind thinks about so much of the time.

You think you had a right to resent and make fun of good people that seem to be prospering more than you. You feel the need to step on their heart and crunch their confidence and do damage to them and when it is brought out you refuse to just say I was wrong , or that was a horrible way to treat you . How much of a difference in the area of restoration, and rebuilding a relationship or just plain respect again just to say and admit “I said that wrong, I need to be kind, I wasn’t good to you”. Nothing works better to bring peace and harmony again in your own heart like Repenting when you need to.

If you are too harsh or have a pattern of cutting down your child’s confidence because you have outburst of uncontrolled anger you never thought of saying I am sorry. You think you’re the parent and shouldn’t admit because they will lose respect. They go through life have few moments of feeling cherished or fruits of the spirit  in their lives. You have called them unkind names and punished them so much for your own aggravations. You are extreme about every minute problem , then you may feel God talking to you about repenting. The Devil wants you and your relationships destroyed so when you feel tender and repenting  don’t refuse or be afraid of losing ground that is the one key that opens the door to a better relationship with even your children. If there ever is any hope of fixing damage it is in repentance and saying your sorry and then you have more power to actually reverse and repair damage.

I am so thankful that the words,” I am sorry are so precious and cleansing and I love how I feel when that is said.” I can once again smile at someone I wronged and care what happens to them. We both know I repented and my part was fixed whether they accept it or not .

No Pity Needed!!

No Pity Needed !!

If they told me that hell isn’t real and there is no heaven to gain, I would still love the life I am living for Jesus. Just why would my life be better with a cigarette, or a freedom to drink booze. If I could dress any way I want to with no restraints about men’s apparel or wearing shorts and halter tops how would that enhance my looks or give me more respect. Skinny or Chubby I feel relieved to see a Lady dress modestly and lady like.

I wouldn’t look better with my hair cut off like a man or or even stringing down my back unkempt. It is a little work to look neat and decently dressed, but the feeling of taking care about how you act and looked is much more relaxing than the alternative of just going about any way you decide and feel.

I still like to see mom’s teach their little girls from a young age how to sit Lady like and how beautiful they are without makeup, and jewelry. It seems like some Pentecostal mom’s think their daughters are deprived if they don’t allow them to wear make up, short sleeved dresses, slacks and shorts. I grew up seeing Mom look so pretty even when she was casual she looked attractive and she taught me that is the way to look attractive. You dress modestly, you look natural and you act like a lady with a sweet manner and that is the easiest way to be pretty.

The happiest most well adjusted little girls I see are ones that they have been taught basic manners, modesty and how to handle themselves in a poised manner. You never hurt your daughter by not giving in to worldly dress or jewelry and makeup. The beauty comes from within to the outside. If you are beautiful but arrogant you are not easy to be around and you will lack the wholesome friendships that you could have.

How nice it is to see a mom take time to do lady things with their daughters. The relationship of a mom and her daughter is enhanced not by how many clothes you buy her by demand, but how many little things you simply do that are gradually teaching her to be pleased with lady things. Start by doing a little tea at the house some pretty teacups, or take a little pleasure in helping her dress nicely for church and look her age and enjoy without real expensive clothes, where she looks at other girls and compares prices.   Clothes that are fitting for her age as she grows. It is not how much you spend that brings happy feelings.  If you start out quoting prices and spending high prices it becomes a must and takes the contentment out of anything ordinary.

The Bible is the most peaceful guide in how we should bring our girls up. They can be out going or quiet in nature and if you teach them manners and wholesome living either temperament can be a joy. It is good to make over your child and compliment them every chance you get. Teach them how to allow others to compliment them and how much sweeter it feels to not prompt other to brag on you, by bragging on yourself. How good it is for them to learn to compliment others and share the joy of others also. Some learn to be takers but not givers.

Manners have to be taught. The best way to teach someone to me is making it a fun thing instead of drudgery. Some learn to work or not want to work by the harsh style of how they were taught. Teaching in life should not always be a harsh dreadful time. I have heard mom’s sing songs of pick up clean up or make work a more rewarding fun time and that would make a child have fun and learn not to dread work or manners. If you are always punishing and getting overly harsh then the ease that kids can get from what they need to do and have to do is destroyed. Let the pattern they have to cut out and live by simple.

In all we are teaching it is easier to teach and learn if you are not harsh, and so ready to punish.  Tension and dread stunts the growth of good character development. If you the teacher want respect and consistent obedience without inner resentment and having to force without it becoming a way of life, you need to pay attention to how you are teaching. Is it with harsh, angry force or full of threats instead of making it appealing to do? Most things can be taught and made to feel like a livable non-threatening thing to do.  You should explain why and how it is just better, or nicer way to do it this way.

If you never let your child talk about things with you without getting upset or shutting them up then there will come a day you will want to communicate in an easy manner, but you didn’t create that so they will share their communication with others. They will not find you to be the one they can share their confusion or disappointments or joys with because you did not cultivate a easy communication no matter whether it is with joy or trouble.

I have been so blessed to raise my own children in the fear of the Lord. To me the fear of the Lord means that I want to please him. I want him to approve. It is not with dread although I know if I don’t follow his commands and obey that I will suffer and lose his approval. He makes my life so pleasant and the benefits are worth whatever the rules.  The rules are not excruciatingly harsh they are what brings me quality of life and I live them easy. I am deprived of nothing good for me. I can enjoy with my guidelines a pattern to keep me safe and in tune with him.

If you have rules in your home of what you allow or don’t allow why is it that you challenge rules in church. I see people that are not very God conscious making statements of how they want God with no rules. I don’t want that kind of relationship. God is Love and he protects me with what I learn to live by. The Ten Commandments are rules, the scripture has guidelines, your job will tell you good bye if you don’t follow rules. If there were no rules or regards for how you are treated, or how you treat others, you would not want to keep working there.

There are codes to live by in your home that brings comfort and peace and helps to bring a nice environment to live there for everyone there. It doesn’t mean that you should be overbearing and make strenuous rules that bring tension and resentment, you have defeated your own life and those that have to live with you. The Fruits of the Spirit cushions our life to live what we live and feel good about it.

When you want to get a point across don’t cross out church. Are you having trouble with your child? So they love to go to church and they love their friends at church. If you punish and are thinking of what means most, why don’t you ground them from a youth function, youth night, youth conference that they were looking so forward to? Why don’t you get them where it hurts the most in their fellowship of good church kids? If you must punish don’t squash their desire to do church functions or by separating them from church friends.

They will find their fellowship needs elsewhere in their world and lose their desire for church. I have counted the cost and that loss is long lasting and too devastating spiritually to be worth the risk to get your point across. I never want to kill the excitement of church functions. In you’re taking away don’t take away the church; you might be replacing the love for church with disdain and resentment.

We make adjustments and we live by codes, and rules, but we are living a good life and not missing the good important things of life.

The most fun, classy wholesome people I know are living of the best of life, not deprived of worldly dress or activities just safe and dedicated and loving it. Their happy bright pleasing contented manner gives me peace in knowing this is the best way to live.

I have been raised not with pity at what I don’t do. I know why I don’t do what I don’t do and it has been explained and I have seen the value in why. I get to do so many good things that it has replaced the don’ts. No pity or mocking necessary for me.

Decisions We Make

Farrah and Clark

Decisions We Make

Decisions are one of the most important steps we have to take in our lives. I make decisions everyday of my life. Like those easy ones of whether I am going to get up early or not, or what I am going to eat. I can tell myself you need to get up at 4am for the trip and somehow I seem to wake up at that time without an alarm clock. I can think about a certain food and it sounds good so I can fix that and eat it. I have had to make decisions for my children until they were old enough to make their own.

My children are the people I affect the most and influence the most. If I make a wrong decision it not only hurts me but it affects them. They get to suffer as much as I do and maybe more because of the long lasting effect. Your heart can warn you not to make this choice and you can override it and be driven no matter the cost and rationalize yourself to believe you will do that and be fine. I fear for those that promote worldly dress, activities, and attitudes. It is evident that they are so selfish and have a life of Godless guidance and no respect for God’s way of life. The most well dressed, well adjusted, and clean fun loving people are people who value what would Jesus and my Pastor say about this. Promoting strife and disobedience amongst our youth just to do whatever makes them happy for the moment is not going to end up being the right decision that makes our children, friends and loved ones want to serve Jesus. It will be a wrong turn in your road and many will fall with you. When will you decide to honor and respect your Pastor and those that represent us to Jesus  from the depth of your mind heart and soul. This is one decision that makes all the difference in the world on whether you are a strong, happy, and dedicated child of God that needs no pity for what you refuse to partake of that will be detrimental to your walk with Jesus and certainly what you promote to others.

I have seen so called Christian mothers promote their children to be in love with someone that are not interested in the church.  They make it feel comfortable for them to chose someone that is not a part of the church and then promote it not just with their own children , but celebrate it by promoting it amongst other youth of the church. Pretty soon there are no reasons for those they like to have to even try to find Jesus.  The Bible says don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers. What does that mean to you? We are to be soul winners and not soul destroyers. I have lived through situations where kids liked someone that did not attend and was not a part of our church. I wanted to win them to Jesus and would be nice to them but my decision had to be strong and known that to marry and date before they know Jesus is against God’s rules. If you know Jesus you are knowingly sacrificing your childs soul to encourage this.

Grandson Jeron praying so sweet to me.

I am a strong willed person, and as my daddy used to say I have raised 5 strong-minded girls. That can be good and that can be bad. In dealing with people I actually am drawn to strong, and sometimes stubborn people. I am usually not afraid to approach them because I have been around enough of them to not be afraid if they are at least approachable. I had to make a decision long ago for myself that although I really like to make my own decisions, I made a choice to think things out and measure my decision on whether it would help or hinder me when it comes to my walk with the Lord. I have made decisions to get counsel and then still I have  prayed first on most decisions for peace.

I have chose not to over-ride my conscience. A big part of my thinking is the way I was taught to dress, what I could do and still keep intact a tender, careful, and respectful way of life living for Jesus and not just my own desires no matter the cost. I have been tempted, tried, and ridiculed for even thinking that I could not do something. I have found that there is a difference in how tender you feel even at a church service when the presence of the Lord is touching folks. The good decisions on holiness or life style pave the way for a tender heart. People that are defending carnal things that they made a decision to be more apart of than Holiness dedications usually laugh at those that decide to do some particular dedication that they THINK is okay.

You make decision in how you spend your money. If you make a plan you decide to save towards that plan. You can just feed your desire to buy whether you need it or not. You can make the bad decision of putting off what you owe and spend on something less important to you, than paying tithe, rent, food, and utilities on and on. That can become a habit and a way of life, and that decision will take you ease of mind away, it will bring trouble and cause those closest to you to be uncomfortable. What a relief if we would learn how we affect not only ourselves but those we need and love the most in our own life.

In my marriage I been blessed with great examples of how to act and choices to bring about the real important reason to marry like, kindness, making it possible to be cherished instead of resented, tenderness and affection instead of cold arrogant actions which breeds a troubled marriage. Hardships come and hardships go, good days come, bad days come, that reigns on the just and unjust alike. Our decision to keep our faith and trust in God, and to keep our attitude tender makes the difference in how much we are able to cope. If you chose to be belligerent jump to conclusions on the harsh side of situations then you live what all that brings. If you work at keeping the Fruits of the Spirit in your life then when troubles come your way, you can still come out with God’s Love and Guidance and approval in your life. The Peace of the Lord in your life is easy to notice by all that know you.

Great Grandma June Davis and Kalyx

I watch people that never want to be instructed yet they have made a decision to laugh and make fun of how others dress or kind of house they have and lack of material things they have that they approve of. They are drunk on their own idea and showing decisions of ill-mannered actions and again I realize that even in our daily manners and actions there is such a bad decision to not have the Fruits of the Spirit in our lives. Just go head on choosing to hurt and get hurt and sneer at others that are really on track and trying to not condemn you, but trying to please God to the best of their ability.

Deciding in your relationships to show manners always, be generous with affection, smiles and laughter, give of best in your home for the comfort of your own family. It pays good dividends in the kind of atmosphere of Love and peace and joy. I myself can enjoy a little argument once in a while, but there is a part of me that wants to not be mean about it. I don’t want to be around people that enjoy snapping on others. If you ever cared about your own atmosphere then make a decision to be kind and sweet yourself as much as possible. Some folks are nicer to everyone except their own family. They will give compliments to others, talk and laugh at others jokes, but treat their very own rude and harsh. I say you have made the decision to Self Destruct your own environment and you got some work to do on making better decisions on how you want to live. You can start with yourself and work on you and what a difference that will make.

I have had a lack of money and it felt uncomfortable, I had to decide what can I do to have a good time with what I DO have.  That didn’t hurt me it made me more thoughtful of the good stuff I have at hand. Then I could have made a decision to stew and gripe and cry and feel like a underdog when that decision would not bring what I wanted at all. You can decide to replace a good feeling, activity, on and on that money can’t buy anyway. I watch people decide to choose homes, clothes and things that are so far out of their range financially that they don’t really get to enjoy it after all. They are so full of worry and can’t even buy the groceries they need, or go out to eat or enjoy giving their tithe because at the moment they lived for a decision to go ahead over their better decision to be content with something they could have peace about.  How they thought they looked to others mattered more than their own peace of mind .

I have watched parents teach their Children to worry about fame and to follow after sports and college and careers that if they missed church, oh well you got to have a education. You’re a smart kid and if you lose your soul and have to follow the world we are not worried as much about whether you make it spiritually or not, you can always come back to God. I have some smart children and in my family are lawyers, college educated family even my own children are in college. I will not feel good if they gain the world and lose their soul. If they can play sports and not miss church and keep their love for being in church that would be good. I just made the decision not to encourage them to be educated and sports fans and the cost be losing their desire to give their best to God. I loved my family that are important in the world and I long to be with them but it can crush God out of our conversation, and fellowship once they give themselves to politics, being famous and what we decide to give up to not just make a living for comfort but, you start deciding where God fits in your life and where he doesn’t. If I do everything offered to me by my journey with the Lord, and my priorities are with what will keep me on track and close to him, I will not be bored, or lack in anything worthwhile. I am as active and busy as I could ever want to be.

If you keep making decisions that you have no time for church fellowship and keep bringing more and more of the world in without regard for serving the Lord and keeping alive the church activities soon church is no longer important and you haven’t been careful and now you have changed from church to the world and all that comes with the world.

What profit is it all, if we gain the world and lose our soul. My second son Bryan  was ask to speak at a young age. His title was so good to me, “You got what you wanted, but you lost what you had.” It is your decision!

I Tried To Raise My Kids Without Being Harsh

I Tried To Raise My Kids Without Being Harsh

As my husband and I sat at Red Lobster last night with friends waiting on our meal, I over heard a father at the next table talking to his child. It seemed to be a birthday meal for the teenager and the family was dining out for that. There was about a five year old little brother and he squirmed and wiggled and didn’t eat very well and was distracted.

The father was very irritated across from the boys and he began to scold. The birthday boy seemed embarrassed and withdrawn. I saw no sparkle in his eye; except he was enjoying the food he was eating. No conversation of worth, not even any good small talk and certainly the five year old was bored to the hilt. The father told the child to eat, he cuddled against his brother and smiled at his dad, and then he was told ok do you want time out when you get home?

The teenager looked like he would like to be anywhere but there right then and he smiled down at his little brother. The mom sat there trying to eat as the dad focused on every little action that irritated him. I thought stuff like this happens to the best of us, but I love to avoid messing up a nice occasion with irrational uncontrolled tension.

How often do we destroy good occasions with no moderation of handling our way of handling things? We could still get a good atmosphere by just keeping our own actions to irritations at a moderate minimum and still be in charge with a good out-come. I really don’t enjoy witnessing these things even though I have gone through it myself. I watched as the family filed out and the family left and I still was worried about the style of home they might have and how bmuch the kids love being there. (I am in no way implying that that our family is the best conversationalists, but let the record show I believe it is important to work at it.)

With all that still in my mind I am writing today about what I have been  involved with the most in my life. Babies and Teenagers have made me want to be a social worker, I have wanted to run a orphanage and adopt, and I have kept other kids in my home for a while and made bedrooms in the church next door to the parsonage so I could do what I could to help out. It is my passion, and I might have made mistakes with my own children, and I could tell you where and when and have still been learning what works and doesn’t without being ashamed that I don’t know it all, but I want the best out of whatever happens and needs to be handled. We are not going to get through life without many troublesome worries and situations that come our way from within our own homes. How we teach and how we ourselves learn equals the out-come of both love and closeness or distant and estranged.

So, you really do want a perfectly well behaved child or teenager that is happy, making good grades, full of zeal like you were, and so easy to live with. I hope some day to have an answer that will help other parents through easily.

What I am really trying to say is this is something we as parents all have to deal with.  I don’t have all the answers even though I have always had such a desire to know what kind of techniques of training work best. I do know what doesn’t work in a small way because I have raised five and tried to do it with a little dignity left for both my kids and me.

I am now watching my grandchildren grow up. Now our own kids are having the joy of raising their own children, and my grandchildren. I have been very proud of how they love their children and delight in them. If I don’t agree with something I try to sneak up on my kids blind side and tell them. Our parents sure didn’t stay completely out of our business in raising our children and I somehow felt like our mom’s knew a better way at times and I listened and asked.  I know it sounds like I am trying to mother the whole world, but well that is just me.

I will say this much, I had to learn to care and be sure that I wasn’t too hasty to measure out quick disciplines and not think them out first, as to how they really would remedy or affect the problem at hand. Love and kind moderate treatment works best in most situations to correct and still keep a tender willingness to repent and go on without bitterness and misunderstanding.

Going overboard seems to only drive the problems or aggravations deeper into the skin of the kid. If you always seem to go for the harshest words or longest groundings it doesn’t produce the tender feelings inside the heart and mind that you might hope it would.  I have seen this over and over and had to correct myself before. They made me disturbed, and I was going to punish them. Not just because it was all that important for them growing up nice, but I got irritated and they were going to pay.

So, I will take a church function away from them and keep them away from other church young people and they will learn.  Most of your nit picking problems with young people is just nice chances for you to just warn and teach in a moderate kind way how to act and what is acceptable or not acceptable. Every problem doesn’t need to be major creating quietly angry feelings growing inside. Herein, lies the problem you want them to learn and grow and become a good citizen and be able to mingle with people and feel confidence and a part of the church and your family.

We have to show love to get the right outcome of a major problem.  Discipline without a sign of love and concern will set things up for more deep-rooted problems. That is why communication and calmer ways of talking out problems works better for opening up and getting through with more understanding and repentance and forgiveness from the heart. This way you both can get through in good shape. God is not as mean as we are. I don’t feel I have a right to treat people worse than God does. He loves always and forgives and gives us hope.  One time my husband made a quick ruling to our children. Soon after he came to me and felt it was too strong. He was feeling so bad and wondered what he could do to retract that and the kids not lose respect for him. What came to his mind was they would respect you more and feel like you love them more even if you agree you made a mistake in your judgment. He called a family meeting and sat them all down and with tears he apologized for making a ruling that was so hurtful to them and ask their forgiveness. He withdrew that restriction. There were lots of tears and all the kids hugged their daddy and said thank you and I love you. As parents we learned an important lesson that day about over reacting in discipline. There have been no problems of respect because of that from our children I felt the respect increases.

The hardest cases in the world of kids to work with are the ones that have been treated harsh from a baby on. Some folks seem to resent their little ones from the start and all the work they are. I have had many a frustrating moment with my own when they didn’t seem to want to sleep or had a crying jag going and I have tried a few tricks to see if it all would go away and leave me alone. After a little of that I would have to tell myself this is a baby and I need to govern my own ideas and not make this a pattern that will stay too long. Sometimes we nourish and make passing actions permanent and speak it into existence because we take it all too hard. Some things are just a baby and some babies are more fussy than others and when they grow up they are just as wonderful as the quiet easy baby.

Some teenagers have a harder time as they enter their teens and I see parents say wrong things to slow down the process and walls go up . I tried to put myself in their shoes and think when things weren’t just right what would help me want to do better.  You can force a child to pray, you can force a child to say I am sorry, you can force a child to give up what he likes and enjoys most, you can stay irritated and see if that works,  but what has made hard uncomfortable times go away quicker is when we could find a reason to smile again together and laugh even about silly things.

Once when life seemed tense and not real fun I was looking for answers to have more fun at home. I went to the Family Book Store and my eyes fell on the book, “Laugh With Your Teenager.” I thought that is just what I want so I will buy this and find out how you do this.  I don’t remember reading it all but the title has stuck with me and I have tried to find reasons to laugh more than grouch. My mom and dad used to find down to earth things like life to laugh about and that all came back to my mind.  How fun it was to laugh and I even realize in sad times one of the most healing things is to be able to laugh no matter how silly it seems to others.  I love to be around family when it is easy to laugh. Many a tense moment has been relaxed and all tension has left with a smile. Laughter lightens the crunch of life .  There are plenty of times to be serious , and we could use laughter even when we are serious. I have been blessed to be in a family that enjoyed so many smiles and doesn’t mind saying sweet nothings, or complimenting good things or beauty. We can express it in words and deeds, but smiles and laughs are simple and easy and what a blessing through it all to even out everything.

Sometimes when our kids disappoint us with their actions we could either worry more about how we look or feel or we can think of the most important one we have in our possession our child. Mom used to say do  as much of your correcting in private and without harsh action as you can.  No one likes to witness a bad acting child, but don’t become the child out of control by losing control yourself. However you handle your children could determine how you see your kids handle theirs. Grandparents suffer because they didn’t treat their children with tenderness so their children don’t treat their children better.

The thing that means so much to me now that I am older is those visits with my family. I thank the Lord that Mom taught me to remember that what means most when you grow old is the close connection from your children. I always want them to want to come back home, and think I was mostly a loving mom and enjoyed all of them I could when they were young.  I want the good days to out way the bad days. Be unafraid when you make a mistake or go farther than you meant to to say I am sorry, I Love You and I want you to be safe and stay close to me.

Raising Marcia – Part 2 “Little Miss Mischief”

When I was born dad was in college at the University of Michigan.  They were living in Ypsilanti, Michigan and I was born  in Ann Arbor.  Mom and dad didn’t have a car and they made a plan with the neighbors across the street from where they lived to take them to the hospital .  Dad had to go to class, and  he came back to the hospital after I was born and went in to see me first.  He came rushing back to mom saying, “ The baby is cross-eyed.”  He didn’t know that the eye muscles are weak at first .

Mom and Dad's Wedding picture

Grandpa & Grandma Alexander Anderson

Grandma Anderson died suddenly when Mom was 18,  so Grandpa Anderson would come and try to fill her spot and help mom.  He would fix whatever he could find to fix and he would take care of us and mom for a few days.  When he came when I was a kid I remember him pulling up to our house and he would get out with the sweetest smile and hug us kids and pull out a bag of Orange slice jelly candy.  I really didn’t like them,  but because he brought them I liked that.   When Mom got home from the hospital with me, Grandpa Anderson came to be with Mom.  Grandma Starr was so excited and she came to visit and she wanted a brown-eyed baby and that was me.  I was the first grandchild.  She was very expressive and  mom was very tense about me being picked up and held at the time.  Grandpa Anderson made a point to pick me up regardless of mom, and gave me right to Grandma Starr to hold.  He had a keen sense of how Grandma Starr felt and he made sure she got to hold me right then and look me over.   Grandpa Anderson made a good gesture when he did that for Grandma Starr.  He had just lost Grandma Ada Anderson three years before and she was only 47 when she suddenly died of a Heart attack while teaching mom how to fix gravy.  Mom said she had nightmares for a year of more after that.  Mom was the youngest girl.  There were eight children and Grandpa helped Grandma much with the family.

When I was still very young maybe five or under, I told a dreadful lie one day.   Dad and mom were talking, and were not fighting but discussing and I thought they were disagreeing.  We went to church and had to ride for a while.  I was listening and in my mind I felt bad for mom and thought dad was making her feel bad.  I got to church and was surprised to see Grandma Starr and Grandpa Starr.   I thought Grandma Starr would be mad if she knew dad was disagreeing with mom so I went to her and told her, “Grandma, daddy slapped mommy’s face.”  Oh , the commotion I caused from Grandma. She was very defensive of mom, and expressive at that, and always seemed to believe me.  Right in front of me she went and found daddy.  She said, “Ahhh Bill, I am so ashamed  that you would slap June’s face.”   I saw a look of shock and anger in dad’s face.  I thought about running away and knew right then I was in trouble because I went too far and told a lie.   We had a ride home and that was torture.  Of course he explained to Grandma that I did not tell the truth.  What a lesson.  Again, I didn’t get spanked that I remember, but I faked sleep.  I was in mental pain and thought I will never do that again.  Lying is bad.  My thoughts were so painful.  As we rode dad spoke to mom of his disappointment in me.  He said, “June I can’t believe our little girl would do this.”  We still lived in Coldwater and when we got home he picked me up sleeping and carried me upstairs to my bed. He talked all the way of how sad he was that I would lie and tell such a terrible lie about him slapping mom’s face.  I kept still and never opened my eyes and he laid me down gently and told me he loved me even tho’ that hurt him so bad.   His words were in my mind for days.  All through my life I thought of that one lie.   I always felt like I would never lie again even if it meant that I would suffer a whipping.  I did lie after that I am sure, but that one lie in particular helped me learn it is better to tell the truth.

I started school in Coldwater.  I was over five, when my sister Alexa was born.  She was born in Coldwater, Michigan.  I can still remember the wonderful feeling of walking into our big living room and looking into the basinett and seeing that new baby sister.   She had real dark hair and seemed like a doll.  Oh how I wanted to carry her around.  Mom said when she looked at me after she got home with Alexa I looked so big.   Pretty soon  mom and dad moved to Albion in a duplex right beside of the VFW hall where they started the church.

I  started school at Dalrymple School.  I decided I wanted to walk to school like other kids.  Mom showed me the way and there were other kids walking too. Finally I got to walk on my own.  It was a small town and felt very safe to me I thought but I had never done it alone.   I started walking and as I got about a block away I looked at a huge red brick home and it was so huge to me .  It was a historical home that the Peabody family lived in I heard.  Well , I got so scared I ran back home thinking that Armored Knights and Kings and Queens were sitting on thrones in that house and might come out with their swords.   Sometimes I laugh at my childish imagination I had, but it has helped me to try to look into my kids heads when they seem upset over silly things.  It might be silly to me, but  not to them. When I ran home my mom was so gentle she just seemed to protect me without a lot of words.  She really didn’t know what all I was thinking she just walked with me without agitation at me and got me to school.  I soon walked to school with confidence and no fright.

I grew up thinking Albion was the nicest town you could live in.   We lived in the Duplex a few years.  I can remember visitors like Bro and Sis Dale Phebus and Vie their daughter.  Uncle Gus and Aunt Helen Anderson and cousins, Karen, Madelyn and Mike and they had a church in Jackson, Michigan.  When they came they showed me so much attention and  laughed and exclaimed at what I would say and do.  They made me feel like I was so important.  I can remember riding along in their car telling them big interesting tales and I would embellish the stories and oh how excited they would act.  They would compliment and say the best things that would make me feel like I was their favorite.  If you get around their kids, Karen Perry, Madelyn Shields and Mike  Anderson, they are like their parents.  They live the most exciting way you can live and they make you feel worth a million dollars.   You would maybe have a hard time expressing like they do, but I thank God there are a few folks that dare to be such builders of confidence in people. I remember when Uncle Gus and Aunt Helen came they would be full of stories and would both tell stuff at the same time and it would seem so exciting.  As a kid it would be quite a big deal to have a visit from them or go to their place and visit them.

We moved from the Duplex on Cass Street in Albion to a house that seemed out in the country.  Actually it was out on M99 just passed the Riverside Cemetary only about a mile from where we lived on Cass.  Our Landlord was at the edge of the Cememtary and we lived at the bottom of the hill sharing the same driveway.  I loved it there because I felt like we were on a farm because between us was a big barn. There was a corn field and vegetable gardens.  The barn was very interesting and full of hay and chickens, and kittens were there in that barn.  The landlord was Tidy Allman.  She and her son lived together at the top of the hill along with their dog Trixie.  Trixie was a trick for sure.  I could walk about anywhere around my house and close to the barn but I never quit watching for Trixie because he could get mad quick and decide to chase down the lane barking.   Besides chasing he might bite too.  My friend Linda and I was petting Trixie one day and she laid her head on Trixie’s and got bit just above her eyebrow suddenly.  I never cared to get close to that dog again.

One day while running through the barn with another kid I somehow ran a pitchfork through one side of my ankle and out on the same side under the skin.  I pushed it out and got home to mom.  She took me to the hospital and I had to have Tetanus shots because of infection.  It was quite a scar of two holes on one side of my ankle and is still there.

While we lived at this place another little sister was born. Rebecca came three years after Alexa so that finally made me old enough to help more with this baby.  I loved helping mom with babies. I not only helped mom, I would go to church and stand by the door as mom’s entered with babies. I knew who would let me take care of their baby and I could hold their baby and diaper it too.  That was so wonderful to me.  I would take a baby upstairs to the nursery at church and change the baby’s diaper, and if I found lotion I might even give the baby a bath in the sink in the nursery and lotion the baby up and put lotion in it hair and comb it’s hair into a curl on top if it had enough hair.

Sometimes at Easter they would have baby ducks and chicks that you could get.  One year I slipped around and got  two chicks and a duck.  They were so fluffy and cute.  One died real quick and the one that made it was the duck.  It grew very large and turned from soft yellow to white.  That duck lived with us out on Hwy M99.  Trixie tried many times to chase the duck  but the duck was smart enough to stay close to our house.  Trixie only came so far and never over to our house.  When the duck got full-grown it knew it was mine .   Where I was outside, the duck would be.  I would run and the duck would run and pull my hair and clothes and peck at me.  I wasn’t afraid, it was mine.  Mom was a bit afraid out in the area because she was used to the city.  She would worry about hitchhikers or someone being in the woods by our house.  It was really dark at night no street lights like in town.  Mom got so scared and dad wasn’t home, she kept hearing a noise outside.  Finally she located the noise by peeking out of the curtain here and there in the house.  It was the duck pushing an empty tin can around on the driveway.   That was about the end of the duck .  We had kittens and the duck at that house.  It was fun because we could pick berries from the blackberry and raspberry bushes.

One day were had company coming and mom cooked a big meal.  She warned me that somehow the big round table was broken off its pedestal and I was to be careful not to lean on it.  Well, I don’t know who leaned on it.  I have always thought I did because with the food on it ready to serve,  the table tipped up and all the food slid off.

Dad worked for the Secretary of State.  They provided him a car and he worked five days a week like 8am and getting home around 5pm.  Mom always had dad an evening meal ready around 5pm.  We lived a pretty routine life with dad working , kids in school and the church.  Soon after moving out on M99 the plans for our church to be built on the corner of Lincoln and Adams Street were made.  Dad still worked but was regularly there when off work checking on the building.  Finally we got to have church in the basement.

I loved going to the window wells and catching frogs. I seemed to find them in there from tiny to big.  One evening the ladies were having a prayer meeting in the basement. Sometimes rain would drip and make puddles in the basement.  That was a prime time to find frogs. I found a big one.  I was walking around while they were praying and found a big one.  I sat it down right next to the loudest praying sister there ,Nanny Patrick. It plopped right by her leg under her dress tail.  I was sitting back innocently watching expecting some reaction but not as much as I got.  Nanny jumped up and hollered “Oh Jesus.”  The other ladies began to pray louder and harder and it helped the prayer meeting to liven up.  Nanny told the ladies when the prayer meeting was over what happened. They all exclaimed and some squealed and laughed and shuddered.  The frog was still hoping around as evidence.  I was still sitting in the corner very amused but never was found out that I put the frog near Nanny.

Another time when it was raining I put a small frog under the windshield wiper of a sister that came by herself to church.  Again I was near by when she got in her car and turned the wipers on and backed up, coming to a screeching halt,  and hoped out of the car screaming for help because somehow there was a frog under her wiper.

Raising Marcia – Part 1 “Little Miss Mischief”

Me at 4 months old

Well, I just feel like I had such a calm, fun childhood. I vaguely remember early years maybe two or three things about me that stood out in my mind. I would probably have to start maybe around five years old and remember what stands out to me at times.

Mom, me and Dad

I do remember Cold Water, Michigan we lived there in my early years and I will guess I was  around four or five. Mom and Dad started a church in Albion, Michigan about 25 miles away and used the VFW Hall in Albion for services. Very important people started coming to the church like Bro. and Sis.  Shaffer and their daughter Linda.  The Shaffers helped our family all they could , they became like family to us . I could walk down to their house at the end of our block on Cass street and visit them.
Before we moved to Albion and we were living in Coldwater at the time I was the only child for over five years. I was the first Grandchild on dad’s side and they made me think I was something special.

Grandma Eleanor Starr

Grandma Starr would do the unthinkable and try to not allow me to be spanked. She would say , “Oh no,  she didn’t mean to be bad.” Sometimes she put me behind her and kept  talking on my behalf.  It is funny now to me because I can remember a few instances when she did that and I did get protection and no one got too mad at Grandma. I used to love going to Grandma’s house in Lansing and going through her dresser drawers especially, because it was so interesting. I can remember going over old curlers, and whatever I could find whether it be a snapshot, old bobbie pins, curlers, well, I was just a nosey little girl.

In Coldwater we had about a thirty minute ride to church in the beginning of starting the Albion Church. One Sunday morning they got me ready for church and I went outside and suddenly got a brain storm. I looked at the gas cap on the car and took it off. I remember getting crab apples and putting them in the gas tank along with handfuls of sand. Dad came out to the car to get ready to leave for church. I was standing looking feeling so proud that I filled the tank up for them. Dad got in and started the car and it just made a grinding sound. Dad bounced back out of the car ran in and told mom he would have to hitch hike the car wouldn’t start. Mom came out and discovered what I had done. I really don’t remember getting spanked but I do remember a commotion.

Another time Dad was gone to work and mom did not have a car. I was walking around the yard and decided to go to the neighbor’s yard and open the rabbit cage and I got a little rabbit out and kept walking with it. I ended up downtown standing in front of the Theater looking at the pictures in the windows. A policeman came to me and said little girl are you lost. I said No I am not lost I am walking and looking. He asked me about the rabbit and I just said,” I wanted to take a walk with this rabbit.” Well, little girl your momma is really worried about you and I need to take you home. I didn’t want to go home so quick but I went and got in his car. I turned the rabbit loose and it ran all around his feet. He said, ” If you will hold that rabbit till I get you home I will give you a nickel”. I grabbed the rabbit with it kicking and squirming.    Mom didn’t whip me when the policeman took me to her but I remember that incident well.

Me at 3 years old

For some of my years before five I remember mom going to work at night.  Dad took care of me and I was very lonely for mom.  She worked as a Practical Nurse.   The three of us lived in an upstairs apartment at this time and I was very bored , as I recall it now.  I remember saying and doing many interesting things.  I don’t remember being spanked so much , but maybe I should have been.

Me at 5yrs old

I could tell some big stories that seemed so real to me.  My audience was very important to me.  I wasn’t all that outgoing,  but if I was made over it brought much confidence and  joy to me.  I had a keen idea who really liked me and who tolerated me and who disliked me as I studied people.  I was told your beautiful a lot by Grandma and family.  I remember looking into the mirror and wondering why they said that as I grew older.  I really didn’t think I was as pretty as they made me feel.  That was maybe a good thing.  I realize now how much that might have given me an easier feeling knowing I was cherished and expressions of Love and adoration was mentioned often by family and sometimes friends.   It has helped me express myself to my own children and acquaintances words of affirmation.  It is necessary.

While living in the upstairs apartment with mom at work and Dad watching me,  one day while mom slept a bit I got a brainstorm, I guess, and I whacked my hair off uneven on one side of my head.   Mom had to try hard to work with that till it grew back out.   I never knew if she had to even some of it out or not but somehow my hair is not my issue now.  I just found a pair of scissors and tried them out….really didn’t mean to sin.   No spanking but mom did have a look of dismay .  Near the same time I had a new doll.   The doll had the rubber stuff body.  I cut all the fingers off……a bit of a quietly busy child that was going to grow up and get her own busy kids that would turn out good after all…..whether spanked or not.  You know somethings are not intentional basically they just happen in an inquisitive moment.  Around the same time I got upset about something and told mom I was going to run away.   She got a suitcase and packed it for me and put my snowsuit and boots and hat on and took me down the long stair way.    She said goodbye to me and probably kissed me and put me and the suitcase outside and closed the door.   I remember looking around the big area and I started banging on the door and crying for her to let me back in.   Of course she did.

Welcome To My World!

I am the wife of a Wonderful Evangelist, Martyn J. Ballestero.  We have five children and twelve grandchildren hoping for more.  Our chilren are listed by birth order:

Carl Anthony and Kimberly Elrod  Ballestero,  their children are Kalyx  Marie , Carlton Alexander  and  Braden Anthony,

Bryan Starr and Christy Huntley Ballestero their children are Huntley Starr, Christyana Content, and Christian Bryan,

Martyn J. Ballestero II and Courtney Joella Ballestero their children are, Jeron Starr , Chloe Julianne Monet,  and Zion Turner,

Marisa June and Brandon S. Hartzell their children are Garrison Timothy, Cadence Martyn, and Ainsley Marcia, 

Andrew Dale and Jasmine V. Ballestero .

My Father, William R. Starr  passed away.  My Mom, Marian June is now married to Rev. Howard Davis of San Bernardino, CA .   I have four sisters, no brothers .  Alexa Olson , Rebecca Trammell, Priscilla Spears, and Sara Copple.   They are all married  to Pastors .  I have  a wonderful mother in law, Content Faith Ballestero and three sisters-in-law:  Carlene Branham, Ramona Yandris and Nila Marxer.

As I add to the blog you may see these names from time to time .  I will hopefully add to this and have something worth reading and inspiring.

Thank you!